Category: Living My Inspired Life

Practicing Loving Kindness Feels Better

Practicing loving kindness feels better… than being caught up in comparing.  Compulsive comparing creates a restlessness that can never be satisfied.

Examples of Compulsive Comparing

Do you know someone who has an immaculate house? Imagine after visiting them or just thinking about them, you might have these thoughts walking inside your own less than perfect home.

  • How does she keep everything so clean?
  • It really feels bad, seeing all the dust in my house
  • I know there’s a candy bar hidden here someplace…

If only we could substitute these thoughts of loving kindness for ourselves instead.

  • Perhaps I care about more important things than housework
  • But, if I set a timer for 30 minutes and sweep…
  • After the timer goes off, I’ll fix a cup of coffee… or herbal tea

Did you feel a difference reading these two very different lists? For me, the comparing list made me frown and furrow my brow.

The second list brought a smile to my face and a lightness in my chest. It’s about offering forgiveness for ourselves.

How to Bring Loving Kindness Home

Mindfulness meditation is the key to bringing loving kindness into your life. Sharon Salzberg is my go to person for learning how to cultivate loving kindness. I’ve completed her 10% Nicer meditation course inside the app, Ten Percent Happier , multiple times.

She has also written several books on loving kindness, available on her website . If you want to experience a ten minute mediation right now, go to A Simple Meditation to Connect With Loving-Kindness, from Sharon Salzberg on mindful.org.

This Seems Too Easy

Yes, it is easy… and also very hard. Like most things, it takes a daily commitment to change. However, if you miss a day, don’t beat yourself up. Rather, start again. Each day dawns with another new opportunity to live happier.

Practicing loving kindness feels better… than comparing ourselves to others. Just think what a different world it would be if you practice loving kindness for yourself and others. Start right now.

Sending you loving kindness,
Dawn

Time Heals When We Allow It

Time heals when we allow it space to ebb and flow. Grief is not linear, nor does it follow a prescribed set of stages. Yes, I know about the Elizabeth Kubler-Ross model. Moreover, that it was developed to explain the stages of grief one is likely to experience when faced with the news of their own terminal illness.

Grief of a loved one is not the same.

How is it Different… the Same?

It comes down to one word – control.

  • We cannot control the world around us
  • We can control our reaction to it

We decide if we want to stuff down our feelings or allow expression of emotion. For me, I have allowed my expression of grief to emerge, even when it is inconvenient or embarrassing. That includes tears, anger, resentment, and any other emotion that comes up.

Even though I thought I was grieving the first year, as I look back it is obvious I was in denial, protecting myself. As the years have changed me since my husband’s decision to take his own life, my grief has also changed because I have allowed it.

How Time Heals When We Allow It

This month is the 7th anniversary of my husband’s death. When I see the actual date looming ahead, a lump forms in my throat and the tears, or sobs start. I try to move myself to a private space, but that doesn’t always happen… like right now. My diaphragm begins an unconscious series of contractions, the tears well up in my eyes, and I catch my breath as a few sobs emerge. Then it is over. I take a deep breath in and out. All is well.

Final Words of Encouragement

My experience has shown me a few ways to get through.

  • Give yourself the same compassion you give others
  • Shower yourself with self-care
  • Allow others to help
  • Accept loving kindness
  • Seek counseling and groups who share your experience

It will get better. Time heals when we allow it.

Learning to Love Where You Live

Learning to love where you live may sound silly. Perhaps you answer, “Of course, I love where I live!” But do you really?

Learning to Love Where You Live

Loving something is more than accepting the situation. It’s feeling gratitude, joy, and happiness within your heart. Furthermore, it is feeling this within your body. For me, I feel an expansion of lightness in my chest.

In my last location, I spent a lot of time dwelling on what was ‘wrong’ with my space. It was only through the pandemic’s isolation that I realized my attitude needed to change.

Steps Toward a Change in Attitude

  1. Make a list of everything you appreciate about your situation
  2. Commit toward spending time everyday enveloped in at least one appreciation
  3. Check in weekly to notice any positive change
  4. Express gratitude for any progress

Moving to a New Home

This is the stage I’m in. Not only did I choose this home, I felt it chose me. Yet, my commitment was lacking.

Once it was clear to me that something different was needed, a way to connect with my home came into my life through one of The Healing Hummingbird’s videos on YouTube. As I stood in the center of my house, I spoke this affirmation from Louise Hay …

“I bless my home with love. I put love in every corner and my home lovingly responds with warmth and comfort. I am at peace.”

Watch Meredith’s video for other ways to connect to your house with love.

Making a House a Home

This process is different for each of us.

For example, I bought a hummingbird feeder to invite any late migrating birds for a stopover outside the dining room window. With every meal, we enjoy watching the ruby throated hummers drink deeply from the feeder.

And don’t worry about keeping them in your area too long. You can read more about it on the Cornell Lab website. In fact, here’s the recipe for making your own hummingbird nectar.