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From a Suicide Survivor to PTSD Diagnosis

When I wrote my suicide survivor article a few weeks ago, I had no idea I would go from a suicide survivor to PTSD diagnosis so easily. Although the likelihood you or a loved one will develop PTSD from any traumatic event is small (6.8% according to a 2020 Psychology Today blog), it is important to recognize the symptoms.

WHAT IS PTSD?

The acronym stands for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It was first brought to light in 1980. Yet, some World War I survivors in the early 20th century were known as suffering from “shell shock”. Today, we realize it was PTSD.

Although the trauma typically associated with PTSD is extreme, as in combat, it can also occur from many other types of trauma, such as long term abuse. This Psychology Today article covers the basic information about PTSD in much more detail.

HOW DOES IT AFFECT YOUR QUALITY OF LIFE?

Complex disorders like PTSD have a long list of possible short term and long term effects. The full list is included in another article.

A PEEK INTO MY THERAPY SESSION

As you might imagine, my therapist (I’m using her first name, Mary) asked me questions, allowed me to ‘tell my story’, took notes, and led me down the path of discovery.

When I used trigger words, like shame, she asked me where I thought that came from. I’ve been on my own path of self-discovery, so sometimes her questions were easy to answer.

“Shame was instilled in childhood by my parent,” I replied.

”Hmm.”

I continued my stories, clearly illustrating my PTSD symptoms with flashbacks followed by sudden emotional outbursts that I quickly quashed. There were many more nuances of my illness that Mary picked up on.

Near the end of the session, she took out a small book, which was a pocket handbook of PTSD symptoms. Reading each one, she noted her observations that matched my exhibited behavior. Thankfully, I didn’t exhibit every single symptom.

”Ahhhh…”

A huge sigh of relief escaped my body.

I had found the right therapist, there is a name for my suffering, and we will work together on a solution.

HOW IS THIS THERAPY SESSION DIFFERENT?

Unlike some therapists I’ve had in the past, Mary got to the root of the cause quickly. As I pondered the session this week, I believe there are a few clues about why this therapy session was more useful vs. past less useful sessions.

  1. I understood I had a problem.
    • I’ve allowed my intuition to guide me when I faced my sudden teary outbursts over the last few weeks rather than stuff down my emotion.
  2. I acted on my perceived problem.
    • Writing about the teary outbursts in an earlier blog resulted in research, which brought me to a suicide survivor group. The facilitators recognized my PTSD symptoms and recommended I seek out a therapist who specializes in trauma therapy.
    • A search on Psychology Today led me to a local therapist who specializes in trauma and PTSD.
  3. Finally, I was ready to acknowledge my true condition in order to grieve and come out of this.
    • My openness, honesty, and choice to not hold back during the session have developed over many small steps of journaling, seeking holistic and spiritually based avenues to peel away layers of self protection.

This list illustrates, in the bullet points, how small steps are truly the key to developing a life of fulfillment.

NEXT STEPS

This opportunity to share parts of my mental health journey is too precious to ignore. I invite you to join me as I move beyond viewing this week’s reality from a suicide survivor to PTSD diagnosis. In contrast I want to also share the many everyday discoveries that make us smile and keep us moving forward in difficult times.

By signing up for my newsletter, you will always receive the information in my blogs along with glimpses into more joyful moments of my life.

Hanging in there,
Dawn

Human Design is Your Next Step

This past week I realized why Human Design is your next step.

WHAT IS HUMAN DESIGN?

Simply stated, Human Design is a User’s Guide to your life. Like Astrology, it is based on the date, hour, minute and location of your birth. Unlike Astrology, which gives you an understanding of how the position of the heavenly bodies affect our world and ourselves, Human Design reveals your uniqueness, helping you find your own truth.

ASTROLOGY VS HUMAN DESIGN

Most of us have read the horoscopes in a magazine or newspaper. We looked up the one that corresponds to our birth sun sign. For me, I was born a Sagittarius. However, within my seventh year, my sun sign had changed to Capricorn. I never knew about this until I had my natal chart created in 2014.

HOW HUMAN DESIGN WORKS – A CHILDHOOD EXAMPLE

What if my parents had my Human Design Chart when I was born?

My Manifestor Human Design Chart

They would have then known that my way of being in the world without resistance is to respond. I am a Manifestor. My perfect childhood would have included a lot of freedom of movement. In contrast, my childhood had more restriction than my Human Design needed and it resulted in a passive nature at home. The one place I could live my strategy to respond was in school. I loved it and excelled.

HOW HUMAN DESIGN WORKS – A RELATIONSHIP EXAMPLE

As a Manifestor, being alone is just fine. However, a peaceful relationship involves practicing politeness and informing.

“I’m going for a walk in nature at Bok Tower Gardens, and then stopping at the grocery store on my way home.”

Ahhh. That feels good as I head to my car for some alone time. I’m living my natural path. My independence is intact and I have informed my loved ones where I will be.

YOUR NEXT STEP

If this sounds intriguing, I invite you to check out The Jovian Archive. You can get your free Human Design Chart, which will give you all the information about your specific genetic design.

Likewise, You Tube has many videos on the Jovian Archive channel. One place to start is to listen to An Introduction to the Human Design System.

When you are ready, The Definitive Book of Human Design, The Science of Differentiation awaits you. All you need to know why Human Design is your next step, lies within these pages.

Happily informing,
Dawn

A Challenge to Find Gratitude

This month, I accepted a challenge to find gratitude and thankfulness everyday. That’s 30 days of thankfulness. It has been uplifting and also eye-opening.

One of the surprises was my thankfulness for COVID-19. Looking at it closer, I believe it forced us all to realize many things like:

-we were living an overly fast-paced life
-touch is a blessing
-hugs can heal
-leaving elder family in the care of others takes away something much more valuable than money
-indeed, there is time to pursue a hobby
-some people seem to eschew infection of the flu

The last point is especially interesting to me.

How Many Times Have You Had the Flu?

Almost everyone I talk to suffered the flu at least once in their lives. This is true of some of my relatives. My mother knows she had the flu once. My eldest son also knows he had the flu. I know I have never had the flu. That’s right, never. I’ve also never had a flu shot. Why would I?

The Last Deadly Flu Pandemic

An article in yesterday’s paper reminded me how the Spanish Flu of 1918-19 affected my life. No, I’m not that old. But my paternal grandparents, Edith and Lenus, were living in Chicago, Illinois in the same rooming house at that time.

How a Pandemic Brought Them Together

Edith was the oldest of a farm family from central Wisconsin. She had been sent, at age 14, to Rockford, Illinois to help a relative during her pregnancy. Edith was forced to leave school. She wasn’t happy about it and soon saw an opportunity to go to Chicago. Traveling by herself she set off for the big city of Chicago and found employment in a hospital cafeteria. By that time, Lenus worked on a Lake Michigan barge, shoveling coal, having immigrated from Sweden at age 17. He found a room at the same boarding house.

My grandfather, Lenus, came down with the Spanish flu. Edith nursed him back to health. She didn’t contract the flu. Their friendship grew and courtship began. My grandmother told me this story and she kept daily diaries on very small tablets, written in beautiful penciled cursive handwriting.

Their wedding took place in 1923. I’m still working with my Wisconsin cousins on determining the exact date, but we all remember celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary in Wisconsin the summer of 1973.

From the formality of their wedding photo, it seems likely it was a big wedding on the family farm. What strikes me about their faces is the smile of Lenus and the sternness of Edith. Knowing them in later years, Lenus didn’t smile much and Edith smiled a lot. Growing up living next door on a Polk County, Florida lake, surrounded by a 10-acre citrus grove contributed to my quiet, country childhood.

I am grateful my grandfather was able to survive the pandemic and my grandmother had a rare immunity. Perhaps her strong constitution flows in my veins, fueled by shared DNA.

A Message of Hope for the Future

This true story of resilience and the effect now triangulate 100 years into the future. Young people who were exposed to COVID-19 and had no symptoms may have a natural immunity and pass it onto their children. Those who overcame their illness now have antibodies and a stronger constitution, which is also genetically and environmentally conducive to stronger future generations.

My Challenge to Find Gratitude

December is looming with holiday stress amplified in this year of the pandemic. Wouldn’t it feel good to find one thing to be grateful for each day in December? And how about sharing this challenge to find gratitude on social media? I pledge to post about gratitude everyday in December. Won’t you join me? You can find me on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook by searching for @dawnoutside.

In gratitude for you,
Dawn