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Starting Over is Bittersweet

Starting over is bittersweet. Sometimes we don’t even realize we stopped. For a Perfectionist like me, the not knowing has a bigger punch.

Let’s Get Specific

Using the 10 Percent Happier app, it overjoyed me to see the check mark each day and then the tabulation of my daily streak. Three days missedImagine the kick in the gut when I realized I’d missed not one, but two days. Perhaps like you, my reaction was anger camouflaged as disappointment in myself.

A more calm and collected reaction would have been to immediately click on the daily meditation icon as I had so many times before. As a matter of fact, I had accumulated almost 250 straight days of meditation practice.

Rather, the self-disgust resulted in my clicking away to email, then social media surfing. At that moment, anything was better than starting over.

What Brought Me Back?

As an avid seeker of the nirvana of achieving my life purpose, I focused on other self-care pursuits. Specifically, I threw myself into Connie Chapman’s embodiment program, Reclaim Your Radiance.

Still I felt off-balance. Something was missing. In fact, something inside my head said, “What’s different?” My meditation practice. All the teachers on my app talk about how meditation changes all aspects of life. Still, experience is the best teacher.

More About the Sweet

If starting over is bittersweet, where was the sweetest moment? 4th restartFor me it was the celebration of digital confetti raining down my iPhone screen today as I celebrated my third straight day of meditation. Even the knowledge this was the 4th time I had restarted didn’t dampen the joy of celebration.

Yes, we all need to celebrate our achievements, no matter how small.

How Small Celebrations Spread

Looking for the exact number of my highest meditation streak, led me to one of my forgotten posts. There it sat in Drafts… Immediately, I checked all the bells and whistles… yes, I forgot to click Publish. Now there is another post today, including a powerful exercise in delving deeper.

Did You Know You are Worthy?

Did you know you are worthy? Absolutely. Rather, you knew when you were born. Some of us maintained that knowledge for awhile. In contrast, many of us had life experiences that dimmed our knowledge of self worth.

This past week, I made steps toward acceptance of my worthiness. How? Through the investment of beautiful wooden knitting needles and replacement of the inexpensive Walmart needles I was using. These Lykke Driftwood needles allow an ease of knitting that amplifies the calmness knitting brings me.

How Do You Restore Worthiness?

Truly, you have never been without it. Rather, it’s uncovering your inner knowing of your worthiness. This is not an easy, 1-2-3 you’re done, process. In the short list below, I’m linking to my earlier blogs with deeper exploration on some avenues to answer the question, “Did you know you are worthy?”

Let’s Delve a Little Deeper

I’m not going to kid you. This is a process that takes time and commitment. In fact, I suggest you pick only one of the links above to explore. How do you know which one is the best place to start?

  1. Sit comfortably in a place you feel safe
  2. Direct your gaze downward or close your eyes
  3. Breathe in deeply through your nose
  4. Relax your lips and allow the exhale to slowly leave your body
  5. Read the list above, slowly and pause on each one as you connect with the feeling in your body; tingling, warmth, coolness, any other change

Where you felt different in your body while reading one of the linked bullet items is the place to start.

Be Gentle With Yourself

When we have lost the feeling of worthiness we were born with, it can be a slow process to find it again. Remember that each day is a new start. Today you can start a short, 5-minute meditation. Tomorrow you can repeat the same meditation… and then… before you know it… 200 days straight.

I Support You Dear Friend

I support you dear friend. Doesn’t that feel comforting? Indeed, it is comforting both for the recipient and the person giving support.

Why Does This Feel So Good?

As I’ve mentioned before, energy is everywhere. It exists in all living things, Furthermore, energy is the basis of non-living things; rocks, the air we breathe, furniture… everything. Basic chemistry explains the movement of electrons around the nucleus of atoms.

Like the atom, energy has positive and negative aspects. Within living and non-living things, there is a state of equality. Otherwise, the atoms become agitated and start breaking up. Conversely, it’s the state of salt changing when you place it in water. Although it appears to disappear, tasting the water proves it is still there.

What Happened to the Salt?

The state of the salt changed because it separated into its positive and negative components, Sodium (Na+) & Chloride (Cl-), The same type of separation occurs when you dissolve sugar in water. Below is an illustration of how these very small pieces can move across a semipermeable layer. Movement across a layerThink of how a net outside the Great Barrier Reef allows small fish to pass through, while keeping the beaches safe from Great White Shark attacks.

Where Were We?

How do these science examples explain the positive feeling of “I support you, dear friend”?

In the world of energy, my positive feeling of support spread out across the Universe, reaching your energy field. The effect was boosting the volume of positive vibes. The difference between this and the science analogy is I didn’t lose any joy (positive energy) when I sent it to you. Rather it multiplied for me too.

Let’s Try This Together

Although it is great to support others, I’m going to invite you to start with yourself.

  • Sit in a comfortable position where you feel safe
  • Gently close your eyes
  • Slowly breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth
  • Say, “I support you dear (your name)”
  • Feel the positive energy
  • Repeat, repeat, repeat