Starting Over is Bittersweet

Starting over is bittersweet

Starting over is bittersweet. Sometimes we don’t even realize we stopped. For a Perfectionist like me, the not knowing has a bigger punch.

Let’s Get Specific

Using the 10 Percent Happier app, it overjoyed me to see the check mark each day and then the tabulation of my daily streak. Three days missedImagine the kick in the gut when I realized I’d missed not one, but two days. Perhaps like you, my reaction was anger camouflaged as disappointment in myself.

A more calm and collected reaction would have been to immediately click on the daily meditation icon as I had so many times before. As a matter of fact, I had accumulated almost 250 straight days of meditation practice.

Rather, the self-disgust resulted in my clicking away to email, then social media surfing. At that moment, anything was better than starting over.

What Brought Me Back?

As an avid seeker of the nirvana of achieving my life purpose, I focused on other self-care pursuits. Specifically, I threw myself into Connie Chapman’s embodiment program, Reclaim Your Radiance.

Still I felt off-balance. Something was missing. In fact, something inside my head said, “What’s different?” My meditation practice. All the teachers on my app talk about how meditation changes all aspects of life. Still, experience is the best teacher.

More About the Sweet

If starting over is bittersweet, where was the sweetest moment? 4th restartFor me it was the celebration of digital confetti raining down my iPhone screen today as I celebrated my third straight day of meditation. Even the knowledge this was the 4th time I had restarted didn’t dampen the joy of celebration.

Yes, we all need to celebrate our achievements, no matter how small.

How Small Celebrations Spread

Looking for the exact number of my highest meditation streak, led me to one of my forgotten posts. There it sat in Drafts… Immediately, I checked all the bells and whistles… yes, I forgot to click Publish. Now there is another post today, including a powerful exercise in delving deeper.