Tag: mindful breathing

How to Grow Your Resilience

How to grow your resilience comes from many sources including an innate ability. We don’t often hear the word resilience. A Google search results in this definition for resilience – the capacity to recover from difficult circumstances or simply toughness.
In addition, it involves:

  • Connecting to a positive attitude
  • Developing a determination to work through
  • Saying “Yes” to difficult emotions
  • Developing the capacity to allow

Is This Something I Can Develop?

First, it’s nice to know resilience is a common occurrence in most people. However, we need to cultivate more of it. In fact, anyone can develop toughness or build upon it.

A meditation practice is key to developing all the qualities to build resilience. In fact, the capacity to recover (equanimity) is built-in to the meditation practice on Ten Percent Happier. A short meditation by Sebene Selassie is the basis for this article. Furthermore, you can watch a YouTube interview with Dan Harris and Sebene titled “The Joy of Allowing Life to Be”.

Practice

Although I recommend a set time for developing the habit of meditation, you can use these steps anytime you find yourself upset about a difficult situation. Allow your intuition to determine whether or not you remove yourself to a private location, safety first, always.

  1. Find a comfortable posture
  2. Either close your your eyes or gaze downward
  3. Begin with slow breathing, in through your nose, out through your mouth
  4. Soften any tightness in your body on the out breath
  5. Connect to the breath or whatever sensations in your body are prominent
  6. Accept anything happening right now; annoyance, distraction, ease, even pain
  7. Say to yourself, “Allow”
  8. Slowly open your eyes

Meditation practice is just that… practice. It doesn’t matter when you lose your way with distraction or thoughts. Noticing and starting again happens for everyone. Make space for exactly what’s here. Saying yes, starting over, allow.

Learning how to grow your resilience, your toughness, through cultivating a positive attitude, determination, and the capacity to allow result in working through difficult times.

Understanding Mindfulness vs Presence

Understanding mindfulness vs presence is my focus this week.

Examples of Mindfulness

I remember when a friend helped me work on being in the moment during a road trip to Aspen, Colorado. On the other hand, more recently I worked toward practicing mindfulness through meditation.

For me, meditation is a daily habit and developing presence is becoming one.

Understanding Mindfulness vs Presence by Example

Mindfulness includes noticing the world around you.
Cultivating presence includes focusing on a physical aspect within your own body.

Food Example:
I made yummy gluten-free almond oatmeal cookies yesterday. It was shortly before dinner when they came out of the oven. I confess I ate four cookies before I realized it.

Mindfulness practice would have me slow down, take one cookie, place it on a plate, sit down, and savor every aspect of it as I slowly took one bite at a time. In fact, I would have closed my eyes to increase my enjoyment and ability to be mindful.

On the other hand, cultivating presence, might result in a slightly different outcome.

My intention for the day included one technique for developing presence – tuning in on breathing. Rather than reach for the first cookie, I might have closed my eyes, and directed my attention toward the rise and fall of my belly. Perhaps then I could have considered ways to combat my familiar habit of eating without mindfulness.

Some alternative behaviors include:

  • Moving the cooling rack out of the kitchen
  • Drinking a glass of water, insuring hydration
  • Concentrating on heating up the dinner of leftover soup
  • Moving up dinner time
  • Fully enjoying one after dinner cookie

How Today is Different

This morning during my meditation to set my intention for the day, I realized patience would have helped me yesterday. Why not set patience as my intention today. I even have a scenario all set.

When the call of the cookie strikes, I will consider the list above after I close my eyes and focus on the breath.

Gratitude is the Answer to Your Question

How do I stay positive during trying times? Gratitude is the answer. This small watercolor painting of the swan always fills my heart with gratitude. It reminds me of the time with my family when I was twelve at Busch Gardens in Tampa, where I took the photo of a swan with my Polaroid Swinger. I chose that moment for my reference at age thirty-seven as I experimented with a gesso and watercolor technique. Every time I look at this painting, my heart fills with gratitude that spans over decades.

You can feel the same with practice.

Give Me Examples

Being home with my children is driving me crazy.

  • First, ensure your children are safe
  • Then go to a quiet place
  • Close your eyes
  • Take 3 deep cleansing breaths
  • Imagine you are at away at work, wondering how your child is feeling away from you
  • Feel the sadness, the longing to be together
  • Now shift back to now
  • I’m so grateful they are right here with me
  • Come out and give your child a comforting hug
  • Repeat as needed
  • Gratitude is the answer

I miss being with my best friend.

  • First, move to a quiet place, where you are alone
  • Take 3 deep cleansing breaths
  • Call  your friend
  • Close your eyes and imagine they are right there with you
  • Enjoy your conversation
  • Tell them how grateful you are they are in your life
  • Repeat as needed
  • Gratitude is the answer

The Mind Shift

Dealing with fear, sadness, disgust or anger is possible. All these emotions are choices we make. Instead, using breathing techniques and being in the moment, choose joy, peace, trust and love.

How Do I Shift My Emotions?

  • First, go to a quiet place, where you are alone
  • Close your eyes
  • Take 3 deep cleansing breaths into your heart space
  • Imagine your favorite place
  • Listen to the sounds
  • Breathe in the fragrance
  • Continue to bask in this beautiful space
  • Slowly open your eyes
  • Repeat as needed
  • You have experienced gratitude in this exercise

How Can I Find Gratitude ____?

Fill in the blanks with your current situation. After you have performed at least one of the exercises above, go through this list. And always look for the positive.

  • I have time to enjoy _____
  • Explore the world virtually
  • See the small delights in your surroundings, right now
  • Be gentle with yourself
  • Be gentle with others
  • Smile
  • Gratitude is the answer

This Seems Too Simple

That’s the beauty of it. We become accustomed to rushing, stress and overwhelm. By the simple act of mindful breathing, we reset our minds and emotions. It’s very simple and how wonderful to have found the space to do that now. I’m taking advantage of this more quiet time at home to reconnect with the love and peace within.

Won’t you join me?

With Love and Caring,
Dawn

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