Three Tips for Finding Value in Yourself

These three tips for finding value in yourself need repeating. Furthermore, no matter how much we grow as individuals, finding our self-worth will elude us at times.

Are You Devaluing Yourself?

Sometimes it’s easier to consider the opposite of a positive characteristic, because it is more familiar to us.

Maybe these are some ways we show a lack of value in ourselves.

  1. Saying ‘Yes’, when we mean ‘No’
  2. Difficulty asking for help
  3. Placing higher value on other people, pets, or things

How to Start Valuing Yourself

Here are three small steps to help you change your behavior. Does one speak to you more than the others? Start there. Then add a second step the next week or sooner if you feel ready. Above all, be kind to yourself.

  1. Start writing Morning Pages
  2. Look at a situation from a different point of view
  3. Do something special just for you

Delving Deeper

Point of view has several meanings. Consequently, I want to make it clear I’m using this definition:

  • the position from which something or someone is observed

In life, we tend to use the same point of view all the time. Most noteworthy, our direct observance is clouded by all the thoughts in our mind drawn from a lifetime of judgement and beliefs.

An Exercise in Point of View

Imagine this scene. A man is walking down a sidewalk with a hedge of plants to his left, listening to music on his iPod. Suddenly, a masked man steps out of the bushes behind him with a shovel in his right hand. He hits the man on the back of the head with the shovel. The man falls to the ground, bleeding from the back of his head.

Chances are, in your default point of view, you placed yourself across the street and observed this attack in horror.

In contrast, let’s try using a different point of view. Pretend there are two birds perched twenty feet up in a tree just on the other side of the hedge. I’ll name them Heckle and Jeckle. Perhaps they observe the same scene this way.

“That man is walking with white strings coming out the sides of his head.”

“Now a second man comes out of the bushes behind him, with a black covering over his face. He holds a big twig with a shiny flat part on the end.”

“The second man moved the shiny part and came in contact with the back of the first man’s head, who falls on the ground.”

“There is red liquid coming out of the man on the ground.”

Different Points of View

This point of view from Heckle and Jeckle is detached, without judgement, a bird’s-eye view observation. Two more possible points of view are the characters in the scene; the man with the iPod, the masked man. And don’t forget the “just the facts” view.

By looking at this fictional scene in different ways, you are practicing changing your point of view.

Do you want to take it one step further? Use different points of view to dissect a scenario from your own life. Extra points if you have strong feelings about this personal circumstance.

Final Thoughts

Don’t forget the third way to start valuing yourself – doing something special, just for you.

Are you doing something special, just for you today? Take a moment to brainstorm one thing you can do for yourself this weekend.

I’d enjoy readIng your ideas in the comments.

Sending love from my heart to yours,
Dawn

My Week of Clarity Emerges

This message about my week of clarity received inspiration from the weekly newsletter I receive from Dan Blank, founder of We Grow Media. His email arrived just as I opened my Gmail app with the subject, “Finding creative clarity”.

I immediately thought, “He’s writing about our collaborative journey.”

My Week of Clarity

Early in the past week, Dan and I had our first conversation in a one-on-one working relationship. We could have started with an easy task, like improving my bio. Rather, I chose to work on my mission, my reason for writing, my ‘why’. After all, isn’t that basic for any decision, project, or life path? And isn’t this week of clarity essential to my writing process? Yes to both questions.

After I read Dan’s newsletter subject, my gaze fell on the pile of clean clothes on my dining table. It jumped out as a metaphor of my jumbled thoughts. Before I could start my day, this anxiety around the laundry needed attention.

Many Paths to Clarity

I find menial tasks with my hands allow ideas to flow. Some of my favorite tasks for this are pulling weeds, folding clothes, or washing dishes. Doesn’t this scene feel calmer, clearer, and fulfilling? It’s not perfect, but it is closer to clarity.

Clarity emerges

Furthermore, for me, it is so helpful talking to just one person about ideas. The physical act of speech often brings about clarity by honing my jumble of thoughts into a single line of realization.

Finally, reading about Dan’s Clarity Cards, I remember the first time I was exposed to this process. It seemed so daunting. In contrast, today I feel I can wrap my head around this, creating order out of chaos.

The Message for You

Every person is unique. While we have different paths or different ways of understanding, we can act on nuggets of information, finding our own clarity, one step at a time. If you found anything in this blog that speaks to your heart, please let me know in the comments.

Feeling calmer,
Dawn

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