These three tips for finding value in yourself need repeating. Furthermore, no matter how much we grow as individuals, finding our self-worth will elude us at times.
Are You Devaluing Yourself?
Sometimes it’s easier to consider the opposite of a positive characteristic, because it is more familiar to us.
Maybe these are some ways we show a lack of value in ourselves.
- Saying ‘Yes’, when we mean ‘No’
- Difficulty asking for help
- Placing higher value on other people, pets, or things
How to Start Valuing Yourself
Here are three small steps to help you change your behavior. Does one speak to you more than the others? Start there. Then add a second step the next week or sooner if you feel ready. Above all, be kind to yourself.
- Start writing Morning Pages
- Look at a situation from a different point of view
- Do something special just for you
Point of view has several meanings. Consequently, I want to make it clear I’m using this definition:
- the position from which something or someone is observed
In life, we tend to use the same point of view all the time. Most noteworthy, our direct observance is clouded by all the thoughts in our mind drawn from a lifetime of judgement and beliefs.
An Exercise in Point of View
Imagine this scene. A man is walking down a sidewalk with a hedge of plants to his left, listening to music on his iPod. Suddenly, a masked man steps out of the bushes behind him with a shovel in his right hand. He hits the man on the back of the head with the shovel. The man falls to the ground, bleeding from the back of his head.
Chances are, in your default point of view, you placed yourself across the street and observed this attack in horror.
In contrast, let’s try using a different point of view. Pretend there are two birds perched twenty feet up in a tree just on the other side of the hedge. I’ll name them Heckle and Jeckle. Perhaps they observe the same scene this way.
“That man is walking with white strings coming out the sides of his head.”
“Now a second man comes out of the bushes behind him, with a black covering over his face. He holds a big twig with a shiny flat part on the end.”
“The second man moved the shiny part and came in contact with the back of the first man’s head, who falls on the ground.”
“There is red liquid coming out of the man on the ground.”
Different Points of View
This point of view from Heckle and Jeckle is detached, without judgement, a bird’s-eye view observation. Two more possible points of view are the characters in the scene; the man with the iPod, the masked man. And don’t forget the “just the facts” view.
By looking at this fictional scene in different ways, you are practicing changing your point of view.
Do you want to take it one step further? Use different points of view to dissect a scenario from your own life. Extra points if you have strong feelings about this personal circumstance.
Don’t forget the third way to start valuing yourself – doing something special, just for you.
Are you doing something special, just for you today? Take a moment to brainstorm one thing you can do for yourself this weekend.
I’d enjoy readIng your ideas in the comments.
Sending love from my heart to yours,