Three Ways Values Affect Your Life

I have found three ways values affect your life; relationships, career, home environment. When these areas are in alignment with your personal values, happiness comes naturally.

Since we are each unique, you may find different areas of your life play a more prominent role in your happiness. These areas may change naturally over time.

Relationships

Personal relationships run the gamut of family, friends, lovers, spouses, like-minded people (your tribe), and co-workers. Have you found yourself observing personalities? Maybe you like those that exhibit your value system more than those that don’t. Actually, this seems intuitively obvious.

Do you get along with one parent more than the other? Perhaps it is because you share values with one parent and not the other.

Then why do we end up with partners that don’t last? There are undoubtedly many reasons. For me, however, my values played a key role.

Career

A long time ago, fifty years to be exact, I took the Air Force Career Test in high school. The results suggested your best careers. It was an extensive personality test. I remember my results clearly; attorney or psychologist were high on the list.

Psychologist was understandable to me as people tended to naturally open up to me. I listened, cared, and promptly forgot whatever they said.

Conversely, attorney, didn’t appeal to me at all. I understood the research might appeal, but even at age 16, I suspected dishonesty was part of their job.

What about your current career? Are you happy, discontent, or desperately looking for a change?

Home Environment

Although I’m using home environment, any environment can be substituted here; work, transportation, workout area, even the great outdoors.

Where do you feel most comfortable? Does dust drive you crazy? Is there comfort in having many cherished items on display? Rather, do you find simplicity more pleasing? These are some of the ways your values are reflected in your environment. If you have control in your home environment, you will choose what makes you happy, that is, comfortable.

Examples

My personal values are honesty, tranquility, and purpose. If you search online for personal values, these don’t usually come up. Rather a list of 10-25 values that are sometimes hard to even understand emerge.

Here is an interesting article that lists 25 values. One of my three is on it. While the questions they ask are good, don’t get distracted quite yet.

Back to my example. Here are three ways my values show up in everyday life:

  1. In fifty years of driving, I have never received a speeding ticket, because my value of Honesty helps me know what the speed limit is so I don’t exceed it.
  2. Tranquility surrounded me in a home as I prepared to move, with essential furniture, bare walls, and bare floors.
  3. Life gets pretty busy for me, yet I am committed to writing this blog weekly as it partially fulfills my value of Purpose by helping you take small steps toward a life of fulfillment.

Finding Your Personal Values

While researching this blog, the destiny of my purpose brought me an incredible, free resource to help you determine your own personal values. I took the evaluation and found it to be spot on. Furthermore, you can take it many times as your life evolves.

Life Values Inventory

I would love to hear your three ways values affect your life and how it evolves. Please comment below, send me an email or signup for my newsletter for a weekly opportunity to connect.

With honesty, tranquility, and purpose,
Dawn

Doing Something Just for Me

For me, this week was all about doing something just for me. It started with my first Airbnb experience and ended with my first attempt at clarity cards. In between I listened to my intuition and discovered some truths about myself.

Unique Mountain Farm

Solitude, comfort, amenities; it’s all right here just outside Hendersonville, North Carolina at the Unique Mountain Farm.

As I was planning my trip, I knew exactly what I wanted to do each day. In contrast, after I arrived at my destination, my relaxation allowed the days to flow more naturally, surrendering to a calmer frame of mind.

Listen to Your Intuition

I checked the weather and found my first full day was the sunniest. As I arrived on Monday afternoon, Waze, my favorite mapping app, sent me down winding roads, right past the Carl Sandburg Home National Park Service Historic Site. I knew a visit was meant to be.

It is necessary now and then for a man to go away by himself and experience loneliness; to sit on a rock in gathering forest and to ask of himself, “Who am I, and where have I been, and where am I going?” – Carl Sandburg

This quote sums up what my heart told me I needed when I planned my getaway. So much emotion and stress had lain heavy on my shoulders the past nine months. Consequently, while walking the grounds of Carl Sandburg’s home, I suddenly burst into tears, multiple times.

Conversely, I also had several lively conversations with dogs and their owners. One of those conversations ended with this confession from one owner.

“You just made my day.”

With my emotions now stabilized, I felt only joy. As I turned to continue down the hill, this scene lay before me.

It’s Worthwhile to Go the Extra Mile

My lifelong friend, Pat, lives in Western North Carolina, three hours from my stay near Hendersonville. Certainly that is much closer than the nine hours from my Florida home. Last week, I called Pat up and we arranged my visit for the middle of my retreat.

Once again, my intuition was spot on. Our short time together helped me see who I am and where I am going. It was the perfect segue for my final day in North Carolina.

It’s All About Clarity

Time for the hard work came on my rainy last day. I began Dan Blank’s Clarity Cards process. This was the primary reason for my alone time, to gain clarity.

At first, the cards looked more like a list of things I do, rather than what I want to create. Slowly, a theme emerged.

Becoming an integrative nutrition health coach is the framework that will allow me to help others change their lives. Each time I interacted directly with people this week, whether strangers or dear friends, I felt more alive, more connected to the positive energy all around me.

Above all, helping others amplified because I am doing something just for me.

A Harvest of Ideas

As we conclude the first official week of autumn, I extend my wish for your own harvest of ideas gleaned from doing something special just for you.

Warmly,
Dawn

Three Tips for Finding Value in Yourself

These three tips for finding value in yourself need repeating. Furthermore, no matter how much we grow as individuals, finding our self-worth will elude us at times.

Are You Devaluing Yourself?

Sometimes it’s easier to consider the opposite of a positive characteristic, because it is more familiar to us.

Maybe these are some ways we show a lack of value in ourselves.

  1. Saying ‘Yes’, when we mean ‘No’
  2. Difficulty asking for help
  3. Placing higher value on other people, pets, or things

How to Start Valuing Yourself

Here are three small steps to help you change your behavior. Does one speak to you more than the others? Start there. Then add a second step the next week or sooner if you feel ready. Above all, be kind to yourself.

  1. Start writing Morning Pages
  2. Look at a situation from a different point of view
  3. Do something special just for you

Delving Deeper

Point of view has several meanings. Consequently, I want to make it clear I’m using this definition:

  • the position from which something or someone is observed

In life, we tend to use the same point of view all the time. Most noteworthy, our direct observance is clouded by all the thoughts in our mind drawn from a lifetime of judgement and beliefs.

An Exercise in Point of View

Imagine this scene. A man is walking down a sidewalk with a hedge of plants to his left, listening to music on his iPod. Suddenly, a masked man steps out of the bushes behind him with a shovel in his right hand. He hits the man on the back of the head with the shovel. The man falls to the ground, bleeding from the back of his head.

Chances are, in your default point of view, you placed yourself across the street and observed this attack in horror.

In contrast, let’s try using a different point of view. Pretend there are two birds perched twenty feet up in a tree just on the other side of the hedge. I’ll name them Heckle and Jeckle. Perhaps they observe the same scene this way.

“That man is walking with white strings coming out the sides of his head.”

“Now a second man comes out of the bushes behind him, with a black covering over his face. He holds a big twig with a shiny flat part on the end.”

“The second man moved the shiny part and came in contact with the back of the first man’s head, who falls on the ground.”

“There is red liquid coming out of the man on the ground.”

Different Points of View

This point of view from Heckle and Jeckle is detached, without judgement, a bird’s-eye view observation. Two more possible points of view are the characters in the scene; the man with the iPod, the masked man. And don’t forget the “just the facts” view.

By looking at this fictional scene in different ways, you are practicing changing your point of view.

Do you want to take it one step further? Use different points of view to dissect a scenario from your own life. Extra points if you have strong feelings about this personal circumstance.

Final Thoughts

Don’t forget the third way to start valuing yourself – doing something special, just for you.

Are you doing something special, just for you today? Take a moment to brainstorm one thing you can do for yourself this weekend.

I’d enjoy readIng your ideas in the comments.

Sending love from my heart to yours,
Dawn