Category: Living My Inspired Life

Bringing More Balance Into Your Life

How often have you read headlines about bringing more balance into your life? Do you have any idea how to do this? Is this imbalance physical, mental, energetic, or something else?

Bringing More Balance into Your Life

Most of us acknowledge the wisdom of the statement above. It’s been a real problem for me that was accentuated when I began to raise my spiritual awareness. Although it seemed innocuous, raising my awareness created an energetic imbalance for me.

Determining Energy Imbalance

My study of the System of Reiki identifies two opposing energies that affect all types of balance: earth energy and heaven energy.

Too much earth energy may result in feeling stuck.

Imagine yourself dreading another day at your desk job. All your friends are tired of hearing you whine. The more you complain about your situation, the more stuck you feel. However, during your afternoon coffee break, you hear someone excitedly talking about the change in their life after they start journaling. So you begin to write the following day and slowly discover you have options in life.

Too much heaven energy may result in feeling scattered or unable to make decisions.

Now imagine yourself preparing to walk out your door on the way to run errands. Unfortunately, your house key isn’t in your pocket or purse as you start closing the door. Walking back inside, you feel dizzy and filled with apprehension. Two possible ways to react; race around looking in every room for the keys or calmly stop, taking slow deep breaths before retracing your steps the last time you used the house key.

Some Ways to Bring More Balance

Grounding is associated with balancing earth energy, while developing spiritual awareness is linked to heaven energy. I’ve written articles about grounding with my favorite method of walking in nature.

In addition to journaling, meditation connects us to heaven energy. There are many ways to meditate, including:

  • Yoga
  • Mindfulness
  • Spiritual prayer
  • Chanting
  • The System of Reiki

Positive Side Effects

Since I’ve improved my life balance, I’ve noticed:

  • An inner calmness
  • Feeling more accomplished
  • Elevated gratitude

Was there Resistance? Definitely

For me, resistance often shows up as slipping into old unhealthy habits. My favorite form of resistance is eating in a harmful way, both in my food choice and amount.

In the past, overeating brought on harsh self-criticism. Next, I either resorted to a restricted diet, sank deeper into a pattern of overeating, or both.

Now, feeling more balanced, I started improving my food choices and amounts. Finally, I experienced the wonder of intuitive eating. Self-love has replaced self-criticism.

By bringing more balance into your life, you can naturally slip into healthier ways of living.

Seven Weeks Later it Happened

For me, seven weeks later, it happened. You think you are progressing well in your grief journey after losing a spouse. Even with the daily bouts of crying, life is returning to ‘normal.’ Then, something brings the sadness back with a vengeance.

Seven Weeks Later, It Happened

For me, it was a phone call from a bereavement counselor with the hospice provider, Compassionate Care. However, the ring had nothing to do with my husband’s hospice. Instead, it was a friend, Jeanne, whom I knew because of my husband. Wayne dated Jeanne, and they remained friends.

Jeanne had asked me long before to act as her health surrogate. In my usual role as caregiver, I readily agreed. As often happens, Jeanne’s cancer didn’t work as expected. She endured for years. As I left Wayne’s memorial service, I received the phone call that Jeanne had been admitted to hospice. She passed eighteen days later.

A Simple Question from a Stranger

Anne, the bereavement counselor, called me last Monday morning, one week after Jeanne passed. She introduced herself and why she was calling.

Then Anne asked, “How are you doing?”

I started to answer when the sobs interrupted me.

Sometimes We Need to Talk

As I talked, Anne listened. She said very little, mainly offering support, honesty, and understanding during the thirty-minute phone call. The truth is that most people don’t want to hear about your grief. They want you to get over your grief and return to the person they love.

Furthermore, your friends want you to be happy. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger who isn’t vested in you. Still, it’s up to us to find how best to move through our grief.

How to Start Moving Out of the Heaviest Feelings

One way is indulging yourself in what has made you feel better in the past. Be aware that sometimes you might have been avoiding the grief. As someone expert in avoidance, I don’t recommend it. However, there are some universal ways to feel better while honoring grief.

  • Get outside.
  • Find ways to feed your personality.
  • Have compassion for yourself.
Claytonia virginica

I’m an extrovert who is creative, observant, curious, and loves research. So my way of moving out of my heaviest feelings was to take a leisurely walk in nature.

Star chickweed

 

Even though the trees were bare, a few flowers peaked out amongst the leaf litter. If you click on the photos, you can see larger photos.

 

Cutleaf toothwort

My self-compassion came when I realized I had overextended my physical limitations. So I stopped often, sat on tree stumps and boulders, and laughed at my attempts to take a selfie.

Final Thoughts

When you feel the grief has returned at a higher pitch, try to flow with it. Give yourself a break. If you are the friend of someone who has lost a loved one, be patient and supportive. We appreciate you more than you know.

When You Want to Smile

What is the answer when you want to smile and know it’s a way to avoid the inevitable sadness and grief of losing a loved one?

Some Factors to Consider

Indeed, the answer may include many factors.

  • Your relationship with the loved one.
  • A support system.
  • Personality.
  • Outside influences.

What You Can Control

Although none of the factors in the list above is under your control, there is one area open to you – how you choose to live.

  • Surrender.
  • Allow the grief to come in.
  • Acknowledge this part of the healing process.
  • Live in the moment.

My Personal Experience

When I returned home after twenty-one days of dealing with the nuts and bolts of widowhood, I was delighted to see my weeping cherry in full bloom. The deep blue skies accentuated my joy.

Throughout the twelve-hour drive from central Florida to northwest North Carolina, I focused on living in the moment. All along the interstate in South and North Carolina, the pure white dogwood blossoms created the illusion of an open weave lace pattern among the leafless trees. Soon the vibrant purple of redbud trees joined the dance, both in native and landscaped stands.

When there were vistas of blooms at rest areas, I walked my dog where I could see the entire scene. In the North Carolina Welcome Center, I strolled through the pollinator garden created by the local garden club chapter. For me, nature always pulls me into living in the moment.

Tears still flowed in private moments, sitting in my car when my deep sadness overcame the moment. I surrender then and continue to submit to grief. The intensity isn’t linear. Instead, my grief follows a path including both current and past losses. This time I’m allowing the flow of emotion, welcoming quiet solitude, and feeling the difference.

The Next Phase

With this newfound flow, I feel hope. As I move through grief, my strength increases. I’m learning how to allow life to move at a slower pace. Completing necessary tasks, I feel alive, more whole.

Each week I dip my toe a tad deeper into my adopted community. Perhaps the local garden club chapter will offer the expertise needed to add season-long perennial color. Does the inaugural High Country Jazz Festival appeal? Or maybe the monthly Candlelight Ghost Tour in Wilkesboro. When you want to smile, I find life offers all the opportunities we allow to come into it.