Living My Inspired Life Archives - Page 9 of 29 - Sacred Healing of Grief Wounds

Is the Grass Greener Over There?

Is the grass greener over there on the other side of the fence or anywhere but here? There were many times in my life I believed this common euphemism.

Is the Grass Greener Over There?

Often, the grass is indeed greener in the neighbor’s yard. But is it because they spend more time, money, or energy grooming their lawn? Or perhaps it looks better because of our perspective.

Last week, I shared my walk along a trail in the mountains with my newsletter readers. The photo in the email was a wild mountain azalea with buds. I hoped to return to see it in full flower, but the weather and a busy life got in my way. Then something unique happened.

My dog, Sugar, insisted that we go along the road in front of the house for a walk. So rather than take a solitary walk on the distant Jumpinoff Rock Trail, I indulged her.

Soon, we passed a shady steep area on the north side of the road. It is covered with an invasive multiflora rose. As we walked past, I noticed a flash of pink. Then, looking closer, I saw a wild mountain azalea in full bloom.

More Treasures Await

Although I always look for flowers on my walks, it amazed me how many new plants greeted me. Some were utterly new to me. Others included the hope of future fruits. And all these treasures allowed me to research their names, which is one of my joys in exploring nature.

Final Thoughts

For me, the grass is greener right where I am. So walking out my front door, exercising myself and my dog, I found a long list of new flowers. And it helped me see more treasures as I explored the country roads nearby, like this flame azalea blooming on the roadside.

The next time you think beauty is something you have to find elsewhere, slow down, observe, and discover wonders within your grasp.

Bringing More Balance Into Your Life

How often have you read headlines about bringing more balance into your life? Do you have any idea how to do this? Is this imbalance physical, mental, energetic, or something else?

Bringing More Balance into Your Life

Most of us acknowledge the wisdom of the statement above. It’s been a real problem for me that was accentuated when I began to raise my spiritual awareness. Although it seemed innocuous, raising my awareness created an energetic imbalance for me.

Determining Energy Imbalance

My study of the System of Reiki identifies two opposing energies that affect all types of balance: earth energy and heaven energy.

Too much earth energy may result in feeling stuck.

Imagine yourself dreading another day at your desk job. All your friends are tired of hearing you whine. The more you complain about your situation, the more stuck you feel. However, during your afternoon coffee break, you hear someone excitedly talking about the change in their life after they start journaling. So you begin to write the following day and slowly discover you have options in life.

Too much heaven energy may result in feeling scattered or unable to make decisions.

Now imagine yourself preparing to walk out your door on the way to run errands. Unfortunately, your house key isn’t in your pocket or purse as you start closing the door. Walking back inside, you feel dizzy and filled with apprehension. Two possible ways to react; race around looking in every room for the keys or calmly stop, taking slow deep breaths before retracing your steps the last time you used the house key.

Some Ways to Bring More Balance

Grounding is associated with balancing earth energy, while developing spiritual awareness is linked to heaven energy. I’ve written articles about grounding with my favorite method of walking in nature.

In addition to journaling, meditation connects us to heaven energy. There are many ways to meditate, including:

Yoga
Mindfulness
Spiritual prayer
Chanting
The System of Reiki

Positive Side Effects

Since I’ve improved my life balance, I’ve noticed:

An inner calmness
Feeling more accomplished
Elevated gratitude

Was there Resistance? Definitely

For me, resistance often shows up as slipping into old unhealthy habits. My favorite form of resistance is eating in a harmful way, both in my food choice and amount.

In the past, overeating brought on harsh self-criticism. Next, I either resorted to a restricted diet, sank deeper into a pattern of overeating, or both.

Now, feeling more balanced, I started improving my food choices and amounts. Finally, I experienced the wonder of intuitive eating. Self-love has replaced self-criticism.

By bringing more balance into your life, you can naturally slip into healthier ways of living.

Seven Weeks Later it Happened

For me, seven weeks later, it happened. You think you are progressing well in your grief journey after losing a spouse. Even with the daily bouts of crying, life is returning to ‘normal.’ Then, something brings the sadness back with a vengeance.

Seven Weeks Later, It Happened

For me, it was a phone call from a bereavement counselor with the hospice provider, Compassionate Care. However, the ring had nothing to do with my husband’s hospice. Instead, it was a friend, Jeanne, whom I knew because of my husband. Wayne dated Jeanne, and they remained friends.

Jeanne had asked me long before to act as her health surrogate. In my usual role as caregiver, I readily agreed. As often happens, Jeanne’s cancer didn’t work as expected. She endured for years. As I left Wayne’s memorial service, I received the phone call that Jeanne had been admitted to hospice. She passed eighteen days later.

A Simple Question from a Stranger

Anne, the bereavement counselor, called me last Monday morning, one week after Jeanne passed. She introduced herself and why she was calling.

Then Anne asked, “How are you doing?”

I started to answer when the sobs interrupted me.

Sometimes We Need to Talk

As I talked, Anne listened. She said very little, mainly offering support, honesty, and understanding during the thirty-minute phone call. The truth is that most people don’t want to hear about your grief. They want you to get over your grief and return to the person they love.

Furthermore, your friends want you to be happy. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger who isn’t vested in you. Still, it’s up to us to find how best to move through our grief.

How to Start Moving Out of the Heaviest Feelings

One way is indulging yourself in what has made you feel better in the past. Be aware that sometimes you might have been avoiding the grief. As someone expert in avoidance, I don’t recommend it. However, there are some universal ways to feel better while honoring grief.

Get outside.
Find ways to feed your personality.
Have compassion for yourself.

I’m an extrovert who is creative, observant, curious, and loves research. So my way of moving out of my heaviest feelings was to take a leisurely walk in nature.

Even though the trees were bare, a few flowers peaked out amongst the leaf litter. If you click on the photos, you can see larger photos.

My self-compassion came when I realized I had overextended my physical limitations. So I stopped often, sat on tree stumps and boulders, and laughed at my attempts to take a selfie.

Final Thoughts

When you feel the grief has returned at a higher pitch, try to flow with it. Give yourself a break. If you are the friend of someone who has lost a loved one, be patient and supportive. We appreciate you more than you know.