Tag: Wayne

What’s on Your Bucket List

What’s on your bucket list? Mine was very loosely formed in the back of my mind until recently. Then a series of seemingly unrelated events coupled with curiosity, facing feelings and taking action resulted in hope found in a bucket list.

Radiation for Cancer

Yesterday, my husband, Wayne, and I met his radiation oncologist, Shravan Kandula, M. D. Dr. Kandula explained the reasons, procedure and side effects of radiation therapy for Wayne. This first appointment was upbeat, encouraging, and easy.

We also met the social worker, Maria. After reading all the information for patients and their families while waiting for the doctor, I noticed a lot of references to psychological difficulties surrounding dealing with cancer. It seemed it didn’t refer to our situation. No, emotional distress was for those dealing with the big ones; breast cancer, lung cancer, colon cancer. Wayne just had a rare Stage 3 cancer in his parotid gland. And the surgeon removed it completely, no cancer in the lymph nodes or anywhere else. But.. radiation will hopefully zap any cancer cells that escaped his scalpel.

But then I started crying today while writing this blog.

Wayne sat next to me, eating cereal, as I’m crying. He’s not into acknowledging feelings.

“Oh, you’re writing your blog. What does blog mean? I assume it’s an acronym.”

Great! Here’s an easy opportunity to turn my feelings off and search for the meaning of blog. It’s short for weblog. Remove the first two letters and you have blog. Phew! That’s better. Now I can get back to writing about these seemingly unrelated events.

Starting a Bucket List

Do you have a bucket list? When did you start it? How do you add to it? Are there completed items? Did your list start accidentally?

Right before writing this article, I was searching online within my local newspaper for articles about native Florida plants in the landscape. The results were so broad, I tried to narrow it down using the category where I expected to find the gardening column, Lifestyle.

The top link returned was an article titled, From Desert to Sky, See it all in the New Mexico Mountains. I saw no correlation with my search phrase, ‘Florida landscape native plants’. Rather the original purpose for my search disappeared when I saw the photo of desert flowers blooming with the Organ Mountains in the background. I immediately thought, “This should be on my bucket list!”

The stark reality of Wayne’s cancer coupled with the picture of the Organ Mountains – Desert Peaks National Monument encouraged me to create a formal bucket list. Seems like life is so much more precious today than a few months ago before cancer became personal. Isn’t that what a bucket list is about – a reminder that time is limited, so get busy living it to the fullest? Does that sound a little negative or laced with worry? I see it differently. For me, a bucket list represents hope.

What About Your Bucket List?

What’s the coolest thing you’ve accomplished on your bucket list? What are you most looking forward to? I’d love to hear about it. Leave a comment below or email me. Better yet, signup for my newsletter and we can have a weekly conversation.

Back to my list,
Dawn

Last Walk in the Yard

One week ago today, our thirteen-year-old Brittany, Dubba, took his last walk in the yard. The decision to end the suffering of a beloved pet is hard, very hard. Carrying out that decision is a burden shared by many. This article is in appreciation for Dubba and the love he showed me, once he got to know me.

A Sporting Life

I’m a supporter of rescue dogs and my life before Wayne has included many. In contrast, Dubba was bred to point birds, specifically quail. He was a master of his craft, teaching many young Brittany pups the art of trailing the scent, pinpointing the hidden location, and then standing stock still until released by the bird taking flight.

Once the hunter brought down the bird, Dubba retrieved it carefully with a ‘soft mouth’, responding to the call of his master, my husband, Wayne. I traipsed behind the hunters one cool Spring morning and watched the symphony of man, dog, and quail in a field, dotted with palmetto islands.

Wild quail hunting is a thing of the past, their natural habitat replaced by housing tracts with cement walls and names like, “Quail Trail Preserve”. Now there are quail breeders and quail brokers. Wayne or his friend, Fred, purchase the birds right before the hunt and place them in the field. When I first saw this, I was taken a back. Consequently, I understand and appreciate the joy of our Brittanys when they are on the hunt.

A Man and His Dog

The bond between Wayne and Dubba was deep, born when Dubba was born in the same home Wayne and I now share. I’ve know Dubba four years. At first he was a bit intimidating. Within a few months, he was seeking me out, rubbing his head against my thigh.

Although Wayne had hopes of breeding our puppy, Sugar, with Dubba, that never happened. Dogs have preferences too. Dubba did not care for Sugar. I breathed a sigh of relief. The thought of raising puppies kept me up nights.

Many years ago, Dubba was a house dog, like his sister, Marilyn and Sugar are today. Dubba, however, insisted on marking his territory inside the house. He received his own house in the yard with an elevated, enclosed and covered area, front entrance, and steps down to the cool cement floor of his spacious kennel. Soon after, a lost, injured American Bulldog found Wayne in Georgia on a deer hunting trip. After diligent efforts to find the Bulldog’s owners failed, Wayne named her Daisy, and brought her home to live with Dubba.

Dogs Have Feelings Too

Wayne and I were worried about Daisy’s reaction to the absence of her friend, Dubba. At first, she was very subdued; barking and eating less, sleeping more. We’ve given Daisy extra tummie rubs, more exercise and attention. She is responding well and seems as happy as she was before. Wayne and I feel better too.

Life Moves On

For all of you who experienced your dog’s last walk in the yard, I feel your pain. I also feel your warm memories of sloppy dog kisses, endless games of fetch, and tender moments. Goodbye dear friend, Dubba.

Love,
Dog Mama Dawn

Exercise Built Up My Confidence

Last week my husband, Wayne, asked again if I wanted to go with him in the airboat on Lake Marion. I had refused every time, but when I said, “Yes, I’ll try,” I realized it was a result of how exercise built up my confidence.

An Airboat Primer

He started up the aircraft engine while it rested in our central Florida lakefront covered boat slip. I ran the motor to lower the straps, and he pulled himself back out of the slip by grabbing the poles along the side. In contrast to airplanes, airboats utilize a push prop in the rear airplanes have a pull prop on the nose of the fuselage or along the wings.

There are two areas they are similar, the noise and the lack of ability to back up. In contrast to an airplane, an airboat can be spun around. Residents along large lakes in Florida complain about the noise. In our county they passed an ordinance that airboats must have mufflers. It didn’t really help reduce the decibels, however, because the source of the noise is the propeller. You can hear the engine and propeller noise and see the wind blow about debris in this short video of my husband and our airboat.

Airboats have a shallow draft due to their light weight, less than 1,000 pounds and the wide hull. Finally, the underside of the hull is treated with a product that reduces friction even more, Slick bottom. All these factors give an airboat the ability to skim over aquatic plants and even land for short distances.  As he skinned around and headed out past the weeds, I turned around on the dock to head toward the shoreline of Lake Marion.

Trial and Error

I navigated the first obstacle, getting down from the dock onto the cinder blocks that serve as steps to the lakeshore. But how to get into the boat? With my arthritic knees, I feel much better with something to hold onto. Ah yes, I remembered to put my butt down on the bow and swing my feet inside the hull.

Airboat on the shore
Carefully I stood up, whispering, “Thank you, Darrin”, to my workout coach for all the squats he has cheered me through. Aloft, I held onto the frame of the airboat, carefully aligning my feet with the metal bottom to reach the tubular rungs that lead to the backseat behind the driver.

I didn’t have the flexibility in my joints to lift my knees to the first rung. There was fear involved as my actions moved the airboat slightly. Big time fear.

The engine is running, but the prop is still, so I turned to Wayne and said,  “I can’t do it.”

He yelled, “Can you sit on the grate where my feet are?”

It looked possible, so I went forward, easily lifted my foot onto the shallow bow and leaned back with my butt on the platform with his feet. My toes were dangling above the bow as I scooted back. This platform folds the accelerator pedal for Wayne’s left foot, but the right side was open, as his right foot control was beside the platform.

“I can do this!”

The Ride

The only place for my hands to grab hold was the aluminum tubing welded along the underside of the platform. I held on tight as we spun around away from the sandy shore. Our immediate destination was the Eastern shoreline, directly in front of us.

Although my iPhone was stuck in my right pocket, I wasn’t confident of the stability of my situation to take any video until after we say a 10-foot bull gator roll off floating debris ten yards in front of us. My heart skipped a few beats as we skimmed right over his sunbathing platform. But I was disappointed to miss the iconic Florida wildlife photo.

Although the ride seemed really fast to me in my precarious seat, I knew Wayne was being extremely cautious. The roar of the propeller prevents conversation. But I suspected he was looking for the hidden entrance to Indian Springs Run, a slow moving creek emanating from a spring, constantly feeding Lake Marion. As we entered the run, our smooth ride on the airboat allowed me to take a handheld video with my steady hand.

I Didn’t Expect That

We exited the run and headed back out to the water lily pads. My phone safely in my pocket, a sudden outpouring of tears, then sobs overtook me. The anxiety of the stay-at-home pandemic order coupled with my newfound confidence in my improved strength burst forth, like the white egrets taking flight in front of me.

Then calmness reigned. I could now trust both my ability to hold fast on the platform and my husband’s care for me as I enjoyed the rest of the trip. I filmed cattle who had ventured away from the shore to browse on aquatic grass and later, the homes on Bannon Island.

The Next Goal

Two days later I told my trainer, Darrin, about my difficulty on the airboat, I could see the wheels turning behind his bright brown eyes. He added moves to my workout routine that would strengthen all the deep muscles in my hips. Remembering the thrill of the airboat ride enhanced my workout effectiveness. Even more now, I feel the result of how exercise built up my confidence. Next, Wayne’s talking about letting me take the controls on our next airboat adventure on Lake Marion.

I’d love to hear from you if you have any questions about this article. I invite you to write a comment, or better yet, signup for my newsletter so you won’t miss a blog and you’ll receive extras I reserve just for my subscribers.

Have a Safe Memorial Day Weekend,
Dawn