When You Want to Smile

What is the answer when you want to smile and know it’s a way to avoid the inevitable sadness and grief of losing a loved one?

Some Factors to Consider

Indeed, the answer may include many factors.

  • Your relationship with the loved one.
  • A support system.
  • Personality.
  • Outside influences.

What You Can Control

Although none of the factors in the list above is under your control, there is one area open to you – how you choose to live.

  • Surrender.
  • Allow the grief to come in.
  • Acknowledge this part of the healing process.
  • Live in the moment.

My Personal Experience

When I returned home after twenty-one days of dealing with the nuts and bolts of widowhood, I was delighted to see my weeping cherry in full bloom. The deep blue skies accentuated my joy.

Throughout the twelve-hour drive from central Florida to northwest North Carolina, I focused on living in the moment. All along the interstate in South and North Carolina, the pure white dogwood blossoms created the illusion of an open weave lace pattern among the leafless trees. Soon the vibrant purple of redbud trees joined the dance, both in native and landscaped stands.

When there were vistas of blooms at rest areas, I walked my dog where I could see the entire scene. In the North Carolina Welcome Center, I strolled through the pollinator garden created by the local garden club chapter. For me, nature always pulls me into living in the moment.

Tears still flowed in private moments, sitting in my car when my deep sadness overcame the moment. I surrender then and continue to submit to grief. The intensity isn’t linear. Instead, my grief follows a path including both current and past losses. This time I’m allowing the flow of emotion, welcoming quiet solitude, and feeling the difference.

The Next Phase

With this newfound flow, I feel hope. As I move through grief, my strength increases. I’m learning how to allow life to move at a slower pace. Completing necessary tasks, I feel alive, more whole.

Each week I dip my toe a tad deeper into my adopted community. Perhaps the local garden club chapter will offer the expertise needed to add season-long perennial color. Does the inaugural High Country Jazz Festival appeal? Or maybe the monthly Candlelight Ghost Tour in Wilkesboro. When you want to smile, I find life offers all the opportunities we allow to come into it.

Consider Walking Barefoot Today

Would you consider walking barefoot today? You may respond, “Why?” Walking barefoot is a way to connect to the Earth and is called earthing or grounding. If you are an empath, you may have heard these terms. I was surprised to find this article with scientific evidence of the benefits of earthing.

I know it is winter in the Western Hemisphere and I give you some alternative earthing techniques below.

What is Earthing?

Earthing is contact with the earth’s surface electrons by walking barefoot outside. Alternatively, you can sit, work, or sleep indoors connected to conductive systems that transfer the energy from the ground into the body.

The article from the Journal of Environmental and Public Health goes on to say, “Emerging scientific research supports the concept that the Earth’s electrons induce multiple physiological changes of clinical significance, including

  • Reduced pain
  • Better sleep
  • A shift from parasympathetic to sympathetic tone in the autonomic nervous system (a reversal of the fight or flight stress syndrome)
  • A blood-thinning effect

There’s even a book, titled Earthing: The Most Important Health Discovery Ever!.

Why is Earthing Important to Me?

If you are an empath, earthing is your connection home. It brings you back to center. And it’s a wonderful way to practice being in the moment.

During my walk barefoot on a natural path through a native forest in Florida, I enjoyed the different sensations the multitude of sensory points in the soles of my feet sent to my brain. The tiny grains of sand almost tickled me. Then the hard clay felt rough. Finally, the coolness of the grass made me smile.

I determined my barefoot walking distance based on the availability of benches. After removing my socks and shoes, I gingerly stepped on the well-worn grass and then sank into the soft sand. My footprints obscured the many shoe prints along the way.

Tips on Walking Barefoot

Although I preferred walking around my yard barefoot as a child, now my feet aren’t used to the complexity of the ground after years of wearing shoes. Safety is always the first concern when walking barefoot. Here are some tips.

  1. Inspect the area first with shoes on
  2. Remove obvious debris that can injure your feet
  3. Consider starting with a concrete area that is in contact with soil
  4. Choose a location that is quiet
  5. Keep your eyes open, scanning the ground
  6. Perhaps walk with a partner who understands the sanctity of silence
  7. Start very small, a few minutes at first

Being Practical Too

Perhaps it isn’t possible to consider walking barefoot today where you live. What can you do to adapt in your situation? Even standing on the Earth is a type of grounding. Refer to my ground and release exercise while sitting and use it while standing.

In Conclusion

Consider walking barefoot today, enjoying the healing aspects for your physical body, energy body and delighting your Inner Child.

Wiggling my toes,
Dawn