The Effects of Self-Imposed Stress

Note: this blog was written right before my awareness there was a  pandemic looming in February 2020. At the time I felt it was insensitive to write about my ‘self-imposed’ stress. Now, sixteen months later, I resurrected it from my drafts.

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Last week I suffered the effects of self-imposed stress. Just thinking about it sends chills down my spine.

Some part of me knew I’d let my activities and choices get out of hand. However, it was more obvious to my husband and mother, who live with me. During the previous month, I had whittled away the major contributor, giving away my time and energy to aid causes more than myself. Yes, I resigned my last job as a volunteer. I thought that was enough. It wasn’t.

Stress Manifests in My Life

First, I noticed a small headache, off and on for a few days. Then exhaustion hit me about midday on day one, Friday. Although unusual for me, I took a nap, a two hour nap. Meanwhile, my plan to cook an elaborate dinner with the chops I’d purchased, evaporated. I found some hot dogs in the back of the meat drawer. It sounded appetizing with the leftover, homemade macaroni and cheese. After serving up the Cleveland Red Beet Kraut, I found a spurt of energy, looking at the colorful shades of red and yellow food choices.

I went to bed early and slept over seven hours, meeting my Fitbit sleep goal. Yeah!

Day Two Starts a Little Better

My usual routine in the morning included a breakfast of carefully measured oatmeal, chopped apple, crystallized ginger, and a boiled egg for added protein. I logged it, just as I’ve done for the last three months.

Essential items were getting low; milk, half and half, peanut butter, bananas, and I needed apples for the Waldorf salad I planned to make. As I finally left for town it was close to lunchtime. I opted for the cafe in Bok Tower Gardens and one of my favorite wraps, Buffalo Chicken. Afterward I went for a fifteen minute stroll.

I was feeling unusually tired from my little walk, but there were still groceries to buy. Arriving home, I carried the groceries and headed for the stairs to the kitchen. My legs seemed so heavy. I took each step slowly, first the left foot, then the right, resting the grocery bags on the steps above.

As soon as I put the milk away, I fell into bed, noticing I had two hours before a group coaching call with Connie Chapman. Just twenty minutes before the call, I awoke and hurried to my downstairs office.  As usual, my Internet was too weak for Zoom in my office, too far from the signal. I went outside and sat in the carport, directly below the WiFi modem.

A Release Valve

The positive energy of the call with women around the world, left me feeling energized as I walked to the back door. It was locked. I had no key. I carefully placed my iPad on the washing machine and phoned my husband. No answer. I lost it. I pounded my fists on the door, and let out a blood-curdling scream. There were no words in the scream, just a huge release.

My mother, who lives downstairs, opened the door with a look of surprise.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m much better now,” I calmly replied.

Even though late in the day, it was much easier navigating the stairs, until the last four steps when exhaustion set in again. As I headed toward the bedroom, I told Wayne I couldn’t prepare supper, and fell into bed. I slept a few hours, ate a banana smeared with peanut butter, and returned to bed and my usual restlessness.

Day Three Looms

Waking up early, I felt better. However, some of the activities I had accepted as normal the week before, seemed out of place or needed adjustment. Shortly after sitting on the pew in church with my mother on Sunday morning, I felt woozy.

“I’m going to sit a spell in the Ladies Lounge, Mom. I’ll make sure I come back during the recessional.”

“Okay,” she replied.

Sitting nearly alone in the quiet of the supportive, yet comfortable chair, felt like a perfect solution to my ‘spell’. I rested, meditated, and felt somewhat refreshed as the time drew close to my scheduled return to the sanctuary.

I was mildly concerned that my ninety-one-year-old mother might have had some difficulty as I steadily walked down the aisle by the modern, stain-glass windows. However, there she was, turning slowly as the cross held high, went past her pew. I slipped in and found my absence had the benefit of offering up my unused bulletin to a late comer. They had underestimated the number of people coming to worship.

Driving home was uneventful. It was somewhat difficult to get out of the car, but my legs seemed fine, that is, until it was time to climb the stairs. At first, I wasn’t sure I could make it. But I stood tall and willed my legs up each step.

The Next 18 Hours

I slept. Eighteen hours were spent in and out of bed; sometimes tossing, sometimes thoughts invading, sometimes restful.

A New Day Dawns

There was no doubt in my mind I’d had a wake up call. I was a different, calmer person who knew what to do and felt no emotion as I started the routine of my Monday. With my cup of coffee resting on the table, I took my iPhone and started making methodical changes. Notifications were the first cut. Then the Group Memberships on Facebook dissolved. Next I made the decision to quit logging my food, moving the app to a less visible screen. By the time I’d finished my coffee, I felt lighter, calmer, and refreshed.

Right now, however, in my new way of being, I’m feeling the need to sit and stare at the lakeshore, waiting for the resident white egret.

To be continued…

Was Stress the Only Factor?

Now, in hindsight, I realize through my over zealous activity, I’ve been avoiding the one thing I fear most, writing my stories in a book, a memoir. This physical breakdown was like a door that allowed me to walk through to the other side, where my destiny awaits. I invite you to sign up for my newsletter, where I’ll bring you farther into my world of writing.

Calmly,
Dawn

My Walk Toward Healing

My walk toward healing is a continuation of my last blog, My Walk on the Wild Side. I promised to write the following week about my personal shamanic healing with The Healing Hummingbird, Meredith Johnson. Rather, during these last two weeks, my healing slowly increased in volume in subtle, yet concrete ways.

My Walk Toward Healing Guidance

The Big Project

If you browse through my blogs, you’ll find I’ve been taking small steps toward fulfilling my life purpose for years. It is a lot like a huge project, My Life Purpose, with many assets (people), contributing skills toward the successful completion of the project.

Yet, one thread is consistent. Me. It is in my control what I notice, whom I choose, where I go.

How did I find The Healing Hummingbird? Slowly, I’ve followed my intuition toward making new contacts, friendships, decisions that became a new circle of friends. While in Denver, Colorado, I met them in person. It was easy because it was like dipping a cane pole in a trout pond. The density of fish increased my likelihood of bringing one to shore.

In Florida, the energy is quite different. Then add in a pandemic, and I’m forced to make new connections via electronic sources.  Often these connections come via email, which is a modern connection. Or perhaps I’m searching for a practitioner on the Internet. Rather than finding my initial quest, something new in the results catches my eye and I head down that side trail.

Similarly, an ads stops my scroll on social media. I click on it. Perhaps that click didn’t seem to be the answer. My curiosity pushes me on, digging a little deeper, scrolling a little farther, and finally the person I’m meant to choose draws me in. It’s like a bigger force has gently taken my hand to guide my walk toward healing.

What Healing Occured?

During my Shamanic healing, there were beautiful moments of my chest opening up, feeling full, then lighter. Most notable were the self-care reminders that came through, like these:

  • Dissolve epsom salt in a bucket of warm water, pouring it over your head in the shower
  • Drink hot tea with ginger
  • Massage your feet, then wrap them in warmth
  • Indulge yourself with your morning coffee
  • Waft the smoke of Palo Santo around your body

Perhaps one of my self-care options appeals to you. My favorite new understanding was using epsom salt in the shower. With my arthritis, it’s difficult to get up from a bathtub, keeping me from enjoying the benefits of a soaking bath. As I pour the ion-rich warm water over my head, I literally feel unnecessary  layers slough off my skin.

Your Walk Toward Healing

The Most Important Tip

Above all, finding your own way is paramount to achieving fulfillment… happiness.

By learning to feel sensations in your body, you move toward an understanding of your unique path.

And the Way is

Plain and simple – deep breathing.

Deep Breathing —> Meditation
Meditation —> Being in the Moment
Being in the Moment —> Feeling Sensations in Your Body
Feeling Sensations in Your Body —> Where You Want to Go

There are other paths that are available to you when you start down your walk toward fulfillment. Deep breathing can be the first step. Be curious.

See you on the path,
Dawn

Do Birthdays Really Have Special Meaning

I’ve always considered birthdays to be special. If you’re a parent, I think you know what I mean. I’ll never forget the joy of the birth of my two sons. But do birthdays really have special meaning?

Astronomy vs. Astrology

Stars have always given me a special fascination. Yet I never studied astronomy in college or even seriously on my own. But what is the difference between astronomy and astrology? Astronomy studies the placement of the stars and planets while astrology attempts to correlate how the heavenly bodies affect our lives. Check out Sky and Telescope for a great blog article on this question.

Is This Even Real?

Astrology was ever present in the daily newspaper and magazines I read in my young adult years. I’d always turned to my sun sign’s blurb for the week or the month, but my logical mind asked, “How can the same thing be true for everyone born during a 3-week period.”

The funny thing is it usually had a grain of truth in it.

Finding a Qualified Astrologer

Through a mutual friend, I found astrologer Michele Adler. I originally had my natal chart report in mid-2014 with C.A. Brooks, a talented astrologer in Denver, CO. Since then I’ve used three different gifted astrologers, but it seemed something was missing. Ms. Adler is retired, but if she has time, and you want to have your natal chart, she’s very qualified. Yes, friends, I recommend Michele Adler. And isn’t that how we get the best referrals, through friends?

A Peek Into My Chart

How the alignment of the stars and planets affects us is a personal story. Sometimes it is quite revealing or even startling. Here are some connections between my natal chart and -> my personality.

  • My natal moon was in Gemini, ruled by Mercury -> a lifelong learner
  • The element earth is missing in my chart -> scattered at times
  • The star Pollux -> seeking truth, however painful

Anyone who knows me, either personally or through my writing, is nodding their head while reading this list of connections. True?

Some Final Words

Astrology can have far-reaching effects. The biggest media blitz about astrology during my lifetime, occurred during a certain American President’s term when it was revealed the First Lady consulted an Astrologer. If you are know the answer, comment below. Are you curious? Use the popup on this page to signup for my newsletter where I reveal the answer to this bit of history.

If you ask yourself, “Do birthdays really have special meaning,” I invite you to search for an astrologer or ask your friends for a recommendation. Each of us has a path and I believe the Universe brings us the connections we need to walk our path. We only need to ask.