Living My Inspired Life Archives - Page 18 of 29 - Sacred Healing of Grief Wounds

Finding the Right Mother’s Day Card

Finding the right Mother’s Day card has given me a headache in past years, especially if I waited too long and the selection was getting sparse. This year is different.

A Chance Meeting

Earlier this week, I was in the Hallmark aisle at Publix, selecting a Mother’s Day card for Mom. As I approached the section, I noticed a 30-ish young woman who seemed mildly exasperated.

“Sometimes it’s hard to find the right one,” I said.

”Yeah. My mom is a Strong Mother. All these gushing messages don’t ring true for me.”

”Don’t I know it!”

”The Strong Mother cards are near the bottom,” she added.

We said goodbye behind our colorful, handmade masks and I started my quest.

A Strong Mother

Her phrase, a strong mother, had made an impression. Rather than feeding a judgement about her mother, she had given our shared reality a positive spin.

Now I was in a different mood, focused on the best thing about my relationship with my mother. Laughter. We share a lot of wholesome, good-natured, joyful, loving, laughter. It was easy to find a funny card to make us both smile.

How Did My Mood Change?

Finding the right Mother’s Day card is a shared experience, especially among women. That was evident when the lady on the card aisle had two cards in her hand; one for her mother and one for her mother-in-law. In this shared energy, we were both open to share our feelings.

Be open to accept positive energy

Additionally, I have taken many small steps toward forgiveness in regards to Mom. She did the best she could do. I did the best I could do as a human being and a mother. And you are doing the best you can do.

Forgiveness of others opens up forgiveness of yourself

Finally, realize that forgiveness is incremental in nature. The relationship between a mother and her children is complex, taking many small steps to unravel until the last trace of hurt and anger are gone. Along the way, find ways to bring joy into the relationship right now.

Live in this moment with joy

Enjoy Yourself!

Whether or not you are a mother, you deserve happiness everyday, including Mother’s Day. Start the day with some deep, cleansing breaths and welcome joy into your life. Regardless of who raised you, thank your birth mother for bringing you into the world. Then continue to thank her or whomever cared for you… They helped you arrive where you are today.

If this is just too hard, take one step toward forgiveness by writing out your feelings on paper. Keep writing until you feel better, until the tears come less, until your body says, “That’s enough for today.” Repeat this tomorrow.. or next week.. whatever feels right to you.

Love and blessings,
Dawn

When You Were a Kid

Do you remember when you were a kid? Life was simple. Make your parents happy and your world was happy. But was it?

When You Were a Kid

The Neighborhood Kids

We lived in the midst of a 10-acre orange grove, sited on a lake. There were no nearby neighbors, no neighborhood kids, except one year when a family rented a nearby Florida cracker house, nestled between grapefruit trees, native oaks and the lakeshore. By chance, we heard the laughter of children playing on the clay road leading straight to the answer to our loneliness. Of course, before we could even meet them, Mom had to visit their mother.

Permission to play was granted and after a tentative shyness, we were soon scrambling up trees, playing on the natural trampoline of a tangled mess of flame vine, and swimming in the lake.

My sister and I were expert tree climbers, scrambling up a giant grapefruit tree together most of the time. With our new neighbors, we joined them to climb a humongous live oak tree close to their home. Although the bark was rough, we attacked it like a gang of pirates, intent on claiming a treasure chest. We weren’t afraid of strangers, or snakes, or anything else then.

The joy of having neighborhood kids to play with was short lived. Within a few months, they moved on. Life was back to playing.. and fighting with my sister.

Although my older sister, was someone I looked up to, yet I still preferred the natural world. One of my favorite actives was watching a giant velvet ant walk across the Florida sand. Isn’t she beautiful? Dad taught me to be careful. Her stinger was a real danger. Conversely, my sister followed other pursuits, like reading. A lot.

Playtime for Two Again

Television was in the toddler stage and we were allowed one program in the afternoon after school, Howdy Doody. Is “It’s Howdy Doody Time” playing in your head? Puppets didn’t appeal to me, yet I loved Howdy Doody. Perhaps because it was the only choice. Limits. There’s something to be said for simplicity.

So what else did we do? We played silly active games like ‘Hide and Seek’. We ran. If it rained, we played board games. Monopoly taught us about strategy, high finance, and sibling hierarchy where my sister always got the race car.

We’re Not Kids Anymore

Let’s Find Ways to Play

How did you play when you were a kid? I had a lot of alone time, so it’s easy to slip into childhood pursuits like exploring the yard, looking for caterpillars. Perhaps you enjoy visiting a public park.

Fun with Grandkids

Playing with grandchildren is another way to engage in play. Furthermore, you open them up to other types of play even their parents don’t know about.

The most precious gift we can give is time. My grandchildren are far away. Since I can’t share simple playtime, I write to them. By hand. Of course, I’ve learned that cursive handwriting is considered archaic. As a result, I practice my handwriting in a printed style, sharing glimpses into my life.

Other Ways to Play

Gone fishing. When you were a kid, the fish were plentiful, easy to catch. Yet, wasn’t it fun to learn how to cast? I remember testing myself. “Can I get close to that half-submerged log? There’s a bass lurking down there.” That was fun. It didn’t matter whether there was a fish on the line. It was just fun.

Remembering Leads to Doing

I invite you to find one way to play this week. Just one. Let us know what you’re going to do for fun in the comments or contact me.

To answer my original question, “Yes! Life was and remains fun.”

Now I think I’ll go find some bugs…

Warmly,
Dawn

Finding Joy When Life is Stressful

Finding joy when life is stressful seems impossible. Yet these are the times joy is most needed.

How I Found My Joy

Inspiration for joy came to me in many different ways. All these ideas have one thing in common – taking action.

Connection with positive friends
Looking for beauty in nature
Noticing synchronicity in everyday occasions
Asking for help

Connection with Positive Friends

Although I’m a caregiver to my husband and elderly mother, I also choose to surround myself with positive friends. This is the primary way I find joy when life is stressful.

One example is a nearby cousin, Tom, whom I’d only seen at sad occasions during the last year. His brother and parents passed just before and during the pandemic.

Tom called me to ask a favor of helping him deliver his car to a mechanic shop located between our respective homes. He enjoys eating out and offered to take me to lunch in gratitude. Our conversations centered around sharing past adventures and our mutual interest in the family genealogy. We made a pact to discover the location of our great-grandfather’s home in the late 1800’s. We spent a Saturday afternoon at the local county historical library, pouring over platte maps.

Looking for Beauty in Nature

During 2020’s restrictions, I discovered nature in my yard. It was wonderful to visit the many plants, some that I had installed specifically to attract butterflies and birds. In contrast, the declining health of my husband and mother pulled me farther out into the world of nature.

Although I walk every Saturday morning with a gardening friend in the gardens of Bok Tower, this week I twice answered the call of a wilder place. Last Sunday I went to a local state park and took my dog, Sugar. The pain in my arthritic knees reminded me that I have walking poles hidden under my husband’s hunting camo in the garage.

When I decided to head to Bok Tower’s wilder side, Pine Ridge Preserve, I dug out the poles, cleaned off the cobwebs and brought them with me. As I used the poles to steady my stance and distribute the force away from my knees, I thought, “Why have I ignored these tools hanging in the garage four years!”

Noticing Synchronicity

There have been so many instances of synchronicity, it’s hard to know which to share. Mostly, I’ve been drawn to reach out to like-minded people through my online groups.

One such person is Miggy Rodriguez, of Infinite FlowInfinite Flow. I’ve known her over a year, liked her Facebook comments both on our private groups and in our personal pages. Finally, I reached out and we had long telephone conversation. She asked me where I lived in Florida. Although she lives in North Carolina, her father lives right here, in the same small town I live in. And her sister literally lives off the same street as me. That’s extreme synchronicity.

You might wonder why that brings me joy. It’s rather simple really. For me, synchronicity is proof of a higher power guiding and helping me.. helping you.

Asking For Help

This has shown up in myriad ways. Not only have I asked friends for help navigating the complex medical world of my husband’s cancer, I’ve learned how to ask for help in small ways too.

Now is the time of oak leaf drop in Florida. I asked my landscaping person to help me by blowing the leaves on our circular drive into piles. When I checked on his regular lawn care tasks, I found him raking the leaves into piles. We worked together to get them into a garbage can.

When you ask for help, joy is doubled. Both people benefit in this giving and receiving exchange.

Final Thoughts

This coming week, consider finding joy when life is stressful. It’s a combination of a choice in your thoughts and taking positive action.

Smiling,
Dawn