Letting Go of the Past Brings Joy

Do you want to experience a new, more accurate you? Letting go of the past brings joy by filling the void with possibilities for the future. As a result, you experience less emotional baggage and open up the room to develop into your true self.

Letting Go of the Past Brings Joy

I clearly remember when my friend said, “Let it go. Just let it go.” The subject of my rant was the judgment I felt from my mother. My internal response was anger. Since I grew up with the illusion that anger is an unacceptable emotion, I pushed the anger down. I felt it was impossible to let it go.

What is a better response?

Lower your gaze and take a deep breath into your energy center, just below your belly button.
With compassion for yourself and your friend, respond,

“That feels like a kick in my gut. Can you help me decipher where that discomfort is coming from?”

At this point, your friend might be angry, have hurt feelings, or they might welcome the opportunity to help. It’s okay.

The most important result of this scenario is that you made a giant leap toward letting go of the past.

What is Anger?

Anger is an illusion. It lives in your past. When my friend responded to my outpouring of frustration, my anger response was in the past. Specifically, it lived in the seconds before I acknowledged my anger. Furthermore, my lifetime of hurt and disappointment fueled the flames of emotion.

This concept that anger is an illusion because it lives in the past can be life-changing.

You can feel anger, acknowledge it, and immediately let it go by purposefully living in the present with a deep breath. That deep breath is in the now. It is the only thing that is now.

How to Change Living in Past Anger

Practice is key.

Imagine a situation in your past when you became angry.
Notice how you feel about that now.
Take a deep breath.
Notice how you feel.

Next, you can practice in your everyday life.
When someone pushes your emotional button, take a pause.
Take a deep breath.
Acknowledge your feelings.
Share how you feel.
Ask for help.

You can do this after the moment has passed, such as later in the conversation.

“Hey, I just realized your comment hurt my feelings. Can we talk about that?”

It’s never too late to start letting go of the past.

What’s With the Plates?

In the past, I worked for the Department of Public and Environmental Health in the City of Denver. I was the smiling face that appeared at an employee’s desk to fix their computer problem. I loved my work. It satisfied my curiosity and need to connect with people and gave me a deep sense of accomplishment in troubleshooting their problems and finding a solution. One high-level manager was eating her lunch on a beautiful plate. It made such an impression that I bought two small Fitz and Floyd plates for my lunches at work.

While Mom lived with Wayne and me in Florida, she helped me by setting the table for meals. Mom always chose one of the Fitz and Floyd plates for herself. I resented it but didn’t let her know my feelings. After we moved to NC, these plates fell out of favor for me. I moved them around in the cabinet, and yesterday I took them out.

I said, “Enough! It’s time for these plates to go.”

I’ve cried three separate times over this. First, forgiveness for Mom came during the release of tears. Then I forgave myself.

Letting go of the past brings joy into our lives in unexpected ways.

Sue Linebaugh Anderson Obituary

As I started placing the Sue Linebaugh Anderson obituary in the Lakeland Ledger, I realized there was no reason I couldn’t post it here as a blog post. So now I can write everything I want to include about my Mother’s life, including links to other blogs in the future. So if you feel inclined, please leave a memory in a comment.

Sue Linebaugh Anderson Obituary

Sue, 93, passed away peacefully on June 4th, 2022, after a brief illness in Boone, NC. She was born on Bastille Day, 1928, in West Palm Beach, Florida, at her maternal grandparents’ home. Furthermore, it was the 4th birthday of her older brother. Grandmother Frankin, “Dashie,” was devastated over the untimely death of her son, Benjamin Franklin. The doctor hoped a birth would lighten Dashie’s depression. It worked, and Sue became very close to her Grandmother Franklin, spending summertime in West Palm Beach.

Soon, she, Floyd Jr., her parents, Claribel, “Frankie,” and Floyd Linebaugh returned to their Winter Haven, Florida home. The same year Bok Tower Gardens near Lake Wales was dedicated. Then, less than a year later, the stock market crashed.

Sue attended local schools, graduated from Winter Haven High School in 1946, spent a year as a Cypress Gardens Southern Belle, and attended a Business School in Washington, DC.

Getting Married and Moving

Sue met her husband, Norman “Swede” Anderson, at a Winter Haven vs. Haines City high school football game and married a year later in Winter Haven. They resided amid a citrus grove on Lake Crystal in Dundee for forty years. Sue taught aerobics through the Haines City Recreation Department for ten years. Their next adventure was retirement in La Garita, Colorado, in the high-altitude farming San Luis valley. Sue cared for Swede until he passed away in La Garita, Colorado, in 2015. In 2016, Sue returned to Polk County with her daughter Dawn Anderson and son-in-law, Wayne Simons. She spent her last months in Watauga County, NC.

The Family Who Mourn Her

Survivors include her sister, Carolyn Harmon, daughter Lila Rogers (Steve), grandchildren Elizabeth Opala (Joe) and great-grandson Elias, Michael Rogers, daughter Dawn Anderson, grandchildren Larry Marciano, David Marciano (Starlight), and great-grandchildren, Charlotte and Benjamin Marciano. Nephews Bill Harmon (Cheryl), Blake Harmon (Cindy), Rush Harmon, Reed Harmon, and niece Jill Snively. Niece Linda Harmon Morgan predeceases her. Additionally, Michael Roads, Swede’s nephew, mourns her passing.

There are many more relatives and friends whose life Sue touched in multiple states and countries.

Her Religious Life

Although Southern Baptist by birth, Sue joined Grace Lutheran Church in Winter Haven in 1960. She was active in Circle, taught Sunday School to preschoolers, and served on the altar guild until moving to Colorado in 1989. Similarly, Sue was an active Saint Peter Lutheran Church member for 26 years. Upon returning to Polk County, she rejoined Grace Lutheran in Winter Haven. Her memorial service will be later this year.

More Blogs About Sue Linebaugh Anderson

The morning of her passing
Mom’s Celebration of Life
Grief on the First Mother’s Day After

Seven Weeks Later it Happened

For me, seven weeks later, it happened. You think you are progressing well in your grief journey after losing a spouse. Even with the daily bouts of crying, life is returning to ‘normal.’ Then, something brings the sadness back with a vengeance.

Seven Weeks Later, It Happened

For me, it was a phone call from a bereavement counselor with the hospice provider, Compassionate Care. However, the ring had nothing to do with my husband’s hospice. Instead, it was a friend, Jeanne, whom I knew because of my husband. Wayne dated Jeanne, and they remained friends.

Jeanne had asked me long before to act as her health surrogate. In my usual role as caregiver, I readily agreed. As often happens, Jeanne’s cancer didn’t work as expected. She endured for years. As I left Wayne’s memorial service, I received the phone call that Jeanne had been admitted to hospice. She passed eighteen days later.

A Simple Question from a Stranger

Anne, the bereavement counselor, called me last Monday morning, one week after Jeanne passed. She introduced herself and why she was calling.

Then Anne asked, “How are you doing?”

I started to answer when the sobs interrupted me.

Sometimes We Need to Talk

As I talked, Anne listened. She said very little, mainly offering support, honesty, and understanding during the thirty-minute phone call. The truth is that most people don’t want to hear about your grief. They want you to get over your grief and return to the person they love.

Furthermore, your friends want you to be happy. Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger who isn’t vested in you. Still, it’s up to us to find how best to move through our grief.

How to Start Moving Out of the Heaviest Feelings

One way is indulging yourself in what has made you feel better in the past. Be aware that sometimes you might have been avoiding the grief. As someone expert in avoidance, I don’t recommend it. However, there are some universal ways to feel better while honoring grief.

Get outside.
Find ways to feed your personality.
Have compassion for yourself.

I’m an extrovert who is creative, observant, curious, and loves research. So my way of moving out of my heaviest feelings was to take a leisurely walk in nature.

Even though the trees were bare, a few flowers peaked out amongst the leaf litter. If you click on the photos, you can see larger photos.

My self-compassion came when I realized I had overextended my physical limitations. So I stopped often, sat on tree stumps and boulders, and laughed at my attempts to take a selfie.

Final Thoughts

When you feel the grief has returned at a higher pitch, try to flow with it. Give yourself a break. If you are the friend of someone who has lost a loved one, be patient and supportive. We appreciate you more than you know.