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Do the Work

How often have you heard “Do the work” concerning self-discovery and healing? Our reaction varies depending on the circumstances. I’ve felt confused, angry, and determined. Now I feel a deep sense of understanding from digging deep into my shadow side.

A Piece of the Journey

Today I’m offering a glimpse into my experience that may provide hope. First, of course, it would be nice if I could hand you an action list for finding your direct route to do the work. But, for me, the trip has been circuitous.

As I started writing, I was sidetracked by a desire to look back at the first time I saw my natal chart. Then, I was drawn to reading my notes from the astrologer C. A. Brooks. Finally, I remembered to date my notes. It was June 11, 2014, in Denver, Colorado.

Pondering the phrase, be the teacher and student, reminded me how much I’ve learned by sharing here. Other words loomed; balance, refine, leadership, allow. When desired behaviors are challenging, they come up again and again.

How I Dug Deep

On May 5, 2021, I had a session with Katie Klein on using the Radical Forgiveness worksheet developed by Colin Tipping. Again, I felt the potential for deep healing during the process but also my resistance. So, like the organized person I am, I saved the file and didn’t think about it again until recently. Multiple times, I’ve heard references to Radical Forgiveness. So, I took action.

Over the last month, I’ve completed four worksheets with my most significant relationships. But I’m not finished. So there is a blank one sitting on the table next to me. It isn’t intimidating, but I like having it handy when my intuition says, “It’s time.”

How Did I Know it was Working?

It was emotionally and physically painful. As I read each step on the worksheet aloud, the answer came to my mind. Then I surrendered to the deep emotions. Between the tears and gasps for air, I vocalized my feelings and wrote them down.

I’m not alone in this. Fellow healers Meredith Johnson, Migdalia Rodriguez, and Mary Toland Shaw support my shadow work with personal healing sessions and spiritual coaching. Their insight, compassion, and comfort brought me more profound healing of old wounds.

In the past, I’ve sought clinical therapists who also helped me through more obvious turning points; post-menopausal depression, the suicide of my spouse, and sudden public emotional outbursts.

Please, don’t give up. You deserve happiness and fulfillment. Your unique experiences are gifts to open, appreciate, and move forward with the universe’s support. Each step brings you closer to the life you are meant to enjoy.

Discover Your Uniqueness

I invite you to click on any healing modalities I’ve mentioned. Or, if you feel too overwhelmed, follow this guide to calm your anxiety and further explore your next step.

With love and compassion,
Dawn

Review of Close-Up on War

My review of Close-Up on War: The Story of Pioneering Photojournalist Catherine Leroy is on Amazon and Goodreads. However, I wanted to delve deeper into this book’s impact on me.

First Impressions

Although I’ve never wanted to read a book about the Vietnam War, the cover photograph pulled me in. It amazed me that I’d never heard of Catherine Leroy. Multiple posts on social media about the impact of women during this month were the final push to influence my purchase.

After unwrapping my copy, I photographed it on the feminine purple tissue paper, lovingly surrounding the gritty contents.

The quality of the paper in the book was like nothing I’d ever seen. Flipping through, it was apparent why the pages were high quality. It is littered with award-winning photographs by Catherine Leroy, her contemporaries, and official agencies.

As I began reading, I felt disappointed. Early chapters review the history of Viet Nam and set up the reader’s knowledge of the area. This type of information has always felt dry to me. Furthermore, I was thirteen in 1967 and saw live news reports about the conflict in Vietnam.

It seemed unnecessary to me until I began to imagine the young women reading this book. Then my attitude softened, and Mary Cronk Farrell’s words permeated my entire being.

My Interest Began to Rise

First, I appreciated the setup of terms in Chapter One once I started reading about Catherine Leroy’s connection to Southeast Asia. Then each chapter became more and more enjoyable.

I couldn’t put it down by the morning of my third reading day. So I finished it before eating a late breakfast near noon, tears running down my cheeks.

In Conclusion

The rawness of Catherine’s experience is not for everyone, but her story is remarkable. I felt like I was there with Catherine Leroy as she began her career in photojournalism. As I continued to read how she broke the barriers of a woman photographing the horrors of war, my heart soared. This tiny woman stood tall among her male peers in courage, tenacity, humility, and compassion.

Mary Cronk Farrell has written a book that inspires all women to trust their instincts and follow their dreams. I gave my review of Close-Up on War five stars.

Dealing with Profound Sorrow

When dealing with profound sorrow, we notice anniversaries of the day they left our lives. It’s not something we easily ignore. Nor should we. This week I marked the first anniversary of my husband Wayne’s death.

This is Not Easy

Every event in our lives has the potential to help us understand ourselves better. I’m taking small steps forward in my grief, gently buoyed by the stream of my tears. Today’s step is a review of what I’ve learned in the last year.

The biggest lesson I learned was the importance of listening to my intuition.

I believe intuition is how God answers you when you pray. We pray for help. We pray for change. We pray for courage. But sometimes, when we pray, we ask questions. We understand that the end of life is inevitable for all of us, but we still ask why.

Although I believe that our time on Earth is predetermined, our choices can affect the number of times we stumble and fall along the way.

Forks in the Road

How do we move forward when approaching a fork in the road? Do we go right, left, or blaze a new trail through the woods? Those are our choices to make.

When dealing with profound sorrow, it might be time to sit at that fork in the road for a while. Then, even turn around and lovingly look behind us at other life choices, choosing to soothe ourselves by wrapping our arms in a self-hug when we believe we took the wrong path.

But was it the wrong path? Or was it simply one of two choices that return to the same place you are today? There were times when if I had listened to my intuition, the path would have been smoother.

There’s another thing I’ve learned about grief. It doesn’t follow a prescribed trajectory. It doesn’t have the same peaks and low spots as the last life sorrow. It can be so different for each person and each experience. It seems the reason is self-evident since every experience changes you.

I have finally learned there is wisdom in looking back and examining your choices, not by self-deprecating, but in understanding yourself better. How can we change if we do not question our lives?

An Exercise

So I invite you to look back on a defining sorrow in your life

How do you do that? You take out some paper and a pencil or a pen and start writing about it. Here’s a question to help you get started.

What did I feel when I first heard the news of their passing?

Write about this as long as you want; cry, scream, punch some pillows. Get it out onto the paper, and let it go.

Remember that the soul of your loved one is free. They are not unhappy because emotions are something that we feel in our bodies, and they no longer have a body. But I believe their love and care for you is never-ending.

Thank them for their love.

Feel that love.

Take it One Step Further

And then remember something they loved to do. Choose a happy moment that you remember. Perhaps they loved to hold their dog, take a nap, or walk in the woods and marvel at the wonders of nature.

I was thinking about when Wayne and I were in La Garita, Colorado. Wayne had permission to fish in a pond stocked with trout. He came home with a beautiful catch and asked for a photo before I made trout almandine. Then, he extended his arms to make the fish appear even more prominent. I laughed then and again now at the memory. It was so Wayne.

Returning to the here and now, I raised my coffee mug and said, “This one is for what you taught me. This one is for you, Wayne. I love you. Thank you for being in my life.”

When I finished my toast, I saw a cute little snowbird looking down at me from the gutter outside the window. And I thought that was a sign that Wayne was laughing too. Why? For native Floridians like Wayne and me, winter visitors from the North are called Snowbirds. But, unfortunately, they were not Wayne’s favorite Florida reality.

I hope this article gave you solace and eased your experience dealing with profound sorrow.

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With love and compassion,
Dawn