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I am Old, Fat, And Determined

Yep, I am old, fat, and determined to achieve the best physical condition possible for me. Why? Because I know following the recommended action of exercise is the best way to deal with osteoarthritic knees.

How Long Have I Worked Out?

It’s been about eight months now. Midsummer in 2019, I decided it was time to make a change. I contacted Darrin Fielder, who had trained my husband a few years ago. Meanwhile, Darrin had changed from working for a fitness club to owning his own business and had an opening for a new client. We started working together three days a week in August 2019.

Why Did it Take Me So Long to Start?

Actually, this was a restart. I’ve had various trainers over the years and found they often were so poor, I’d get hurt, really hurt. After three bad experiences, I just quit trying to workout. Instead, I enjoyed other activities, like gardening.

Gardening Was Fun.. But

In the 90’s, I created a beautiful garden in Colorado with flowers blooming from early Spring until the heavy frost of October. That meant I spent a lot of time gardening. To endure long hours standing in the garden, I started using NSAIDS, always taking the recommended dosage. After about a year, I developed a sensitivity. The lining of my mouth and my gums hurt so much I thought my teeth were going to fall out. I had to quit using all NSAIDS. After the last of the medicine was out of my system, I found I could take half the recommended dose when a special occasion, like visiting my grandchildren came up. Sitting on the plane became tolerable again.

We Are All Different

Some of us love the camaraderie of exercise with others. Or we need the competitiveness that exercise in groups gives us. That’s not me. I’m very competitive, but prefer competition with myself. I get hurt when I compete against others. Even the gentle stretching in yoga becomes dangerous when I see a 20-something, size 6 girl in front of me in yoga class. That’s why I’m at the front now, or was, where the only person I see is the instructor. I can hear her better too. Remember, I’m old.

How Do You Keep Exercising Now?

It’s not easy if you need other people. But if you have a personal trainer, there isn’t a problem. He comes to my house just like before. The only difference is we practice social distancing. And we use my equipment, my dumbbells, spraying them with Lysol, if necessary.

Could I keep this up without him? I don’t know. It would be hard, but I bet we could use Zoom or FaceTime to keep it going. Why not? Children are going to school via computer. Virtual meetings are happening every day.

You Could Start Now

Now that I’m older, I have a much better sense of what I can do, that is, what is possible, and I listen to my body. It lets me know when I need to slow down.

You could start now if you also listen to your body. Get outside and start walking. Or learn a line dance on YouTube. Take it easy, pace yourself, and always gently stretch your legs afterward. Spend some time finding good stretching exercises geared toward you; your age, fitness level and don’t ever think ‘no pain, no gain’, in regards to exercise or stretching.

The Payoff

One of my key goals is ease of daily activities. Here are some ways I’m achieving those goals.

  • Climbing stairs is almost pain free
  • I can lift the 33 pound dog food into the shopping cart without injury
  • Catching my reflection in a glass window makes me smile
  • The future shines bright as my confidence soars

Next time you see a fat, old lady with knock-knees out exercising, I hope you think of me and give her a thumbs up.

Keep Moving!

Dawn

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Sometimes You Have to Fight Fear

Sometimes you have to fight fear, let it know who’s boss.

Trip of a Lifetime

Almost three years ago, in November 2017, I was in New South Wales, Australia. I wanted to study Reiki from Frans Stiene and at the time his next Reiki I class was in his home base, the Blue Mountains north of Sydney.

It was my first time in Australia and I enjoyed every minute of my short time there. The class lasted a weekend, but I was allowed an extra day to overcome the jet lag from my fourteen hour flight. Wandering around the beautifully landscaped grounds of the International House of Reiki Tomah Retreat, there were new garden vignettes at every turn. Most noteworthy, an adult tree house rose near a garden with camellias blooming just beyond. Next I found a small pond with koi. Wandering farther, I found a labyrinth of low growing shrubs. As I walked the circle, I wondered what the weekend would bring.

Unexpected Hospitality

The class far exceeded my expectations. And what fun to be the only American with eight Australians from all over the continent. Sunday arrived sooner than expected and we started thinking about heading home. Luckily, one of the other Reiki students lived in Sydney and she not only let me ride along, she delivered me directly to the front desk of my downtown 5-star, glass wonder Sydney hotel. That’s real Australian hospitality!

Modern Splendor

Similarly, the glass exterior was repeated in the room design. The bathroom was almost like one of those scenes in a carnival house of mirrors, where you think it’s the way out only to find, once again, you took a wrong turn. The difference was this hotel was elegant, warm and inviting. Something about the bathtub drew me to it. Maybe it was the marble tile edge, or the reflection of the soothing turquoise green plexiglas by the sink. I thought, what a nice way to relax before venturing out to find an evening meal.

In contrast, the prefab tub and shower combination at home was not at all inviting. But the non-slip coating on the tub floor and the rounded edge were just what I needed to hoist my plus-size body out of an Epson Salt bath I’d had a few months prior.

What Could Go Wrong?

I gently lowered myself into the warm water. The lovely scent of the bath gel and the softness of the washcloth reminded me what 5-star quality feels like. My arthritic knees were soothed and soon my toes were wrinkled as the water cooled. I reached forward and was surprised how easy it was to reach the drain release.

“What’s different here?” I asked myself.

I proceeded to turn my body sideways in order to get to my knees, which is the only way I can get out of the tub at home. But I couldn’t turn. The tub was too small and I was too big. Uh-oh. I sat upright as fear swept over me.

“I can’t get out,” I murmured.

“Okay, okay. Just relax.”

I took three cleansing breaths. That felt better. How about throwing my leg over the edge onto the floor? I tried, but I didn’t have enough strength to overcome the weight of my ample butt and I slipped right back in.

As I sat there, naked, damp, getting cold, all I could imagine was the shame of being found by the cleaning lady the next day. There it was, the look of disgust on her face. That’s when I started to get angry with myself.

“Dammit, there has to be some way I can get myself out of here.”

Will This Never End?

Sometimes you have to fight fear. Certainly the slight adrenaline rush of my anger helped me. I tried to get purchase behind me on the marble edge of the tub. My butt was off the bottom of the tub, my feet pressed against the end by the drain. I slipped. I got more angry. Through sheer will, I managed to find the strength to get up far enough to scoot one foot beneath me, pain searing through my knee. I fumbled myself into a partially upright position and managed to throw my left leg over the edge and onto the floor.

I lay crumpled on the floor weeping with relief. As I crawled to my knees, I lay my forearm over the toilet, gripping the side and was finally upright. I toweled off and pulled the plush bathrobe around myself, covering my nakedness, still trembling.

Finally Over

Exhausted, I found the menu and ordered room service; hamburger, fries and a Diet Coke. As I took my first bite, I closed my eyes, savored the texture, aroma, and charbroiled flavor of the best hamburger I’ve ever eaten.

Sated, I walked to my window and watched the lights come on as darkness descended. Right below me, across the street was Sydney’s Town Hall, a beautiful, historic Victorian building dwarfed by the towering modern skyscrapers.

“I know how you feel, old friend. But we endure, don’t we.”

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Hit the Reset Button in Your Life

How to hit the reset button? Daily we hit the reset button. We restart our phones and computers to clear out the memory. But do you know how to hit the reset button of your life?

What is Your Morning Routine

I dress, turn on the coffee maker and walk to the curb to pick up the morning paper. Sometimes I scan the front page, but usually I remove the plastic bag, place it in my storage bag to recycle at my grocery store and lay out the paper for those who read it. That’s right. I don’t read the paper.

If I can resist, I leave my phone and tablet to the side, take my coffee out on the porch and watch the sunrise. Then I close my eyes, take a 5-count, slow inhale. As I similarity exhale, calmness inside matches the calmness outside.

It’s taken many years for me to perfect this simple routine.

My First Step to Hit the Reset Button

Thirty years ago, my friend and watercolor instructor introduced me to The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron. Our small class of five women tackled the book together. We met weekly, which followed the chapters perfectly.

All of us starting writing our morning pages. Each morning we gathered our journal, favorite pens and began writing for thirty minutes. My first attempt started, “I don’t know what to write. This is stupid. I can’t believe this will do anything!”

In contrast, by the end of my first morning pages I was writing furiously. My thoughts cascaded from my mind, down my arm, through the pen and onto the paper.

Take Your First Step

Would you like to hit the reset button in your life? Would you like to begin a calmer life? I invite you to add The Artist’s Way to your current library. I’m a big fan of ebooks, but this one is much better in hard copy.

Can’t wait for the delivery? I’ve given you the first task, morning pages. Even though you’ve been up awhile, start your morning pages right now. Then order the book. And let me know how this goes. I really want to know.

Warmly,
Dawn

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