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How do You Know?

How do you know when you are on the right path toward achieving your life purpose?

This is a question I have been trying to answer for years. Finally, I have a received a clear example to share with you.

How Do You Know?

We have heard that Spirit will show you whether you are on the right path with signs. These signs are unique for you and delivered in a way that makes them apparent. Some delivery methods might be:

  1. A meaningful song comes over the car radio.
  2. An animal exhibits memorable behavior right in front of you.
  3. Someone you’ve never met starts a conversation like you’re an old friend.
  4. Clouds form an unmistakable animal shape.

I used these examples because they happened to me. I’d love to hear about your experiences in the comment section below.

Here is My Example

Relationships are essential in my life and how I will positively impact the world. So, it isn’t surprising that my example involves someone seeking me out. I’m using a pseudonym for this person. Let’s call him Charlie.

The Chance Encounter

I’m watering a newly planted flowerbed in my front yard on a sunny early summer afternoon. A young man in a red pickup truck pulls into my driveway, gets out, and comes toward me with a big smile. I’m intrigued.

“Hi. I’m Charlie, and I noticed that your lawn needs mowing. This week I graduate from high school, and I’m looking for customers for my mowing business to earn money for college and wonder if you are interested.”

This young man’s personality immediately draws me in. Unfortunately, I have someone who currently mows my yard. Charlie and I exchanged phone numbers after I explained that I might need his services if my current yardman doesn’t work out.

He Reaches Out Again

After a few weeks, Charlie texted me.

“Hi, this is Charlie. I stopped by a while ago asking about your yard. I just drove by, and it looked a little high. Do you need it mowed?”

Immediately, I knew Charlie should start mowing my yard. I felt warm in my chest, like my body was telling me, “Yes!”

There Was More, A Lot More

Before Charlie reached out the second time, I realized he was a suicide survivor like me.

Each week I meet him by his equipment trailer for a quick conversation. It’s easy to talk to him with the soil beneath our feet. This grounding effect in the pure country air creates a safe place for Charlie to talk about the events of his brother’s suicide.

Eventually, he starts talking about his parents and their grief.

And I realize my question, “How do you know?” has been answered. Charlie has shown me through his ease with me that I am in the right place. Embracing grief coaching is another step toward living my life purpose.

Coaching is Just a Conversation

Allowing Charlie to voice his thoughts and feelings is the beginning of healing his grief wounds. And when both the client and the coach feel at ease, it’s almost magic.

Next Steps

If you feel connected to the grief coaching process, let’s start a conversation by email at: Dawn@dawnlaurenanderson.com

Take your first step toward healing your grief wounds.

Obituary for Norman B. Anderson

This is based on the original obituary for Norman B. Anderson from the Valley Courier in Monte Vista, Colorado, in April 2015. At the time of Dad’s death, I wrote his official obituary with great difficulty. Here, I have rewritten the facts of that document from a place of grief wounds that continue to heal.

Norman Raymond Bernhard (Swede) Anderson, 85, of La Garita, CO, passed away at home on Monday, April 6, 2015. He was born in the Carlson-Taylor home in Lake Hamilton, FL, on August 1, 1929.

A Favorite Story

Swede grew up exploring the swamps and back country of Central Florida along the shores of Lake Marion. He told us stories of walking barefoot into the woods with his dog. There were some Seminole Indians who came to the Lake Marion area. He was just a little guy around five years old. The Seminoles wore traditional clothing and turbans, and they were scary. Norman would hide when he saw the Seminoles.

Citrus was His Career

After a freeze killed the grove on Lake Marion, his family settled on the shore of Crystal Lake in Dundee, FL, where his parents planted a 15-acre orange grove. He took care of the “home grove” and contracted out caring for groves owned by others. Eventually, he bought his groves with a friend, and they worked them together. Money was always tight, so Swede worked on his farming equipment and used his native ingenuity to craft innovative grove irrigation, tree cultivation, and pruning machinery.

His Hobbies Remembered

His hobbies included fishing, hunting, gardening, backpacking throughout the US, blacksmithing, and creating forged Damascus steel knives. A kinship with the outdoors brought Swede and wife Sue to the Rio Grande forest on a backpacking trip. They fell in love with the San Luis Valley and La Garita, which became their new home in October 1989. Swede continued to make knives and fabricate machine parts for residents. Family and friends will greatly miss him.

A Love for All of Nature

Swede loved all animals in the wild. He was especially fond of snakes. Rats were a problem in the Dundee, FL, property barn. But there were red rat snakes around that kept the rat population down. The 4-foot snakes seemed to know no harm would come from members of the Anderson family, and they were seen in many places near the house, including along the top of the stairs down to the half-basement and near the shore of Crystal Lake.

There were also poisonous snakes, including a coral snake over 3 feet long that liked to stay around the house foundation. Norman’s mother, Edith Anderson, disliked snakes and finally convinced him to kill the coral snake as she feared the children (Lila and Dawn) would be bitten. The hide was so beautiful Swede was curing it on a board in the barn. Unfortunately, an animal carried it off before the hide was dry.

A few Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnakes were in the area, including one that wandered into the Boston Ferns in the front yard near the lake shore. Swede heard it and walked into the ferns, asking Sue for his pistol. The family dog, “Jingles,” was with him and was bitten in the muzzle by the snake. Swede saw the strike and shot the rattlesnake. “Jingles” went to the vet but couldn’t be saved. Losing a loved pet to snakebite was a teaching opportunity about death and loss and, for the girls, instilled a healthy respect for rattlesnakes.

At home in La Garita, CO, a couple of Prairie Rattlesnakes preyed on the many resident chipmunks. His wife Sue doesn’t like snakes but understands why Swede is so protective of them. A pack rat was bitten by a rattlesnake in front of the house. It retreated behind some poultry wire around a clematis. Poultry wire and snakes aren’t compatible. The snake got stuck in the wire. Swede rescued the snake and removed the paralyzed pack rat to a safe place for the rattlesnake to consume it. Later, one of the rattlesnakes died, caught in another area of poultry wire. After that, he removed all the poultry wire.

His Loving Family

Norman is survived by his loving wife of 65 years, Sue Linebaugh Anderson; daughters Lila Rogers of St. Cloud, FL, Dawn Anderson of Centennial, CO; grandchildren; David Marciano of Pearland, TX, Lawrence Marciano of Orlando, FL, Elizabeth Opala of Eagle River, AK and Michael Rogers of St. Cloud, FL, great-grandchildren; Charlotte Marciano and Benjamin Marciano of Pearland, TX. Cousins in Sweden also survive him.
Swede was preceded in death by his father, Linus Falka Valentina Anderson of Kristenehamn, Sweden, mother, Edith Elizabeth Peterson of Sigel, Wisconsin, and sister, Lila Anderson Roads of Sacramento, California.
Swede donated his body to science via Science Care. At a future date, there will be a potluck memorial service at his favorite local spot where he enjoyed the coffee, conversation, and many meals – the La Garita Trading Post.

View photos of Swede Anderson in a Flickr Album.

Aha Moment About Self-Care

This past week I had an aha moment about self-care. Part of my revelation came as I looked at the scene from my dining room table. The world felt skewed when I noticed the messiness in my backyard. As I played with the photo, this version appeared. It seemed some self-care was needed.

My Previous Understanding

I’ve written several blogs about self-care, including my feature, Five Tips Toward More Self-Care. In reading my tips, I still feel they are valid. But now it seems just part of the story about self-care.

Before my aha moment about self-care, I thought it was about

  • booking manicures and pedicures
  • buying myself flowers
  • taking a walk in nature

Understand me. Self-care includes my shortlist. But it also includes taking care of yourself by

  • updating your resume
  • calling a friend
  • preparing and eating tasty food

What’s the Difference?

The first list seems like out-of-the-ordinary actions, while the second is more mundane. Does that open the door to more understanding about self-care for you?

Simply Stated

Self-care is taking care of yourself while not harming anyone else.

If it’s so simple, why do we often fall short?

From My Experience

From as far back as I can remember, my self-esteem was so low; putting my needs first was impossible. I couldn’t conceive what that meant.

My first memory of the term came from a woman’s magazine in the 1980s. I would pick one up as I waited at the grocery store check-out. The articles were talking to young mothers like me. My reaction was typical for the times.

“How can I take time for a bubble bath when caring for my home and family is a full-time job!”

Forty years later, I’m much wiser and know that taking time for self-care would have prevented so many problems in my mental state and relationships.

It’s More About Thinking than Doing

Generally, thinking leads us to a lot of stress. But if you can use self-talk to soothe yourself, it’s one of the best self-care modes.

When we start judging ourselves, it’s beneficial to turn it around with self-compassion. For instance, when someone says an unkind word, start acknowledging what you feel is a universal human experience. Others have felt the same way. The more you can see these experiences with self-compassion, the easier it will be to steer yourself away from focusing on self-sabotaging emotions and begin opening alternate thinking patterns.

My aha moment about self-care led to the acknowledgment of my personal growth over the last six months and an appreciation for everyone who has helped me along the way.

And thank you for reading my thoughts.