My snowy driveway illustrates the answer. And no, it doesn’t look bad at all. But what I had to go through to arrive home was another matter. Did my experience answer the question, is fear ever useful?
Fear is an emotion we are all familiar with. We even purposefully bring it forward when we watch scary movies or read books by authors like Stephen King. We like being afraid when we feel in control.
In the past month, I’ve experienced abject fear. It happened when I was caught in a snowstorm driving home from a doctor’s appointment and physical therapy in Boone, North Carolina. It was my birthday, and I planned to celebrate with dinner out.
As the first flakes hit my windshield in the restaurant parking lot, I reassessed my plans and drove to the grocery store. There was no time to consider possible menus. So, I picked up a box of frozen stuffed clams for a celebratory dinner at home.
Stepping out of the store, fear pierced my gut as I saw snow blowing against a dark sky.
Evaluating my drive
Normally, it takes less than thirty minutes to arrive home. I knew tonight would be different. Memories of another snowstorm over twenty years ago momentarily flashed before me as I sat in my car in the grocery parking lot.
In Park County, Colorado, an unexpected storm arrived early Sunday afternoon on November 21, 1999. Although we were seventy-seven miles from home, it was impossible to get there. We were turned back in Jefferson, Colorado, as we saw the emergency lights through the blowing snow at the bottom of Kenosha Pass. Eventually, we arrived back in Fairplay and found a room at the historic inn.
I released the memory and said aloud, “This is different. I’m at just over 3,000 feet, not 10.000 feet. The snow has just started, and I’m eighteen miles from home.”
This self-talk turned down my anxiety as I buckled up and slowly navigated out of the parking lot.
After I made my third turn
The first test of conquering my fear came as I approached a steep hill with a stoplight at the bottom. Thankfully, the other drivers were very cautious. I kept an eye on my speed and never exceeded 30 mph until the four-lane divided highway straightened.
Even then, I kept below 45 mph. With my concentration focused on the speedometer, there was no room for what-ifs.
Almost home
As I moved farther away from Boone, eventually, I was the only car on the dark highway. Still, in a place of fear, loneliness wasn’t a concern. But there are two routes I can take as I am near home. I opted for the one that has hills but no curves. It seems more open, with many Christmas tree farms on either side. However, there are areas with tall stands of native white pine on the side of the road, keeping the road in the shade most of the day. And shaded asphalt can mean icy conditions.
After scaling the first hill, I saw another vehicle in front of me. They touched their brakes as the decline increased, a reminder that braking on icy roads is a tricky maneuver.
Immediately, I backed off the accelerator. It was just enough to avoid breaking until I was over the final hill before the turn onto my street. By then, the vehicle in front was long gone.
The last quarter mile
My street’s familiar, easy curves gave me a welcome respite from the hour of gripping the steering wheel. My shoulders relaxed a little as I also noticed that there was almost no snow.
I released an audible sigh as I pulled into my gravel driveway. As I neared the garage door, I saw my dog, Sugar, at the window. Feeling her joy, I pressed the opener and carefully pulled in. My only thoughts were to retrieve the groceries out of the back of my Subaru and scale the stairs.
As I neared the top, I saw four paws covered with fluffy, white hair in the opening below the door. Naturally, I smiled and said, “I’m almost there, Sugar Baby!”
I stopped short of the top stairs and opened the door to keep my balance. My face was at the same level as Sugar’s, and she cleaned my face with doggie kisses.
The answer to my question
Yes, fear has a purpose.
It is essential to our survival when we are in situations that could be life-threatening. Fear can hone our attention, clearing away any unnecessary thoughts or distractions. Also, it helps when you experience difficult situations often. I routinely find myself analyzing road conditions when the weather isn’t ideal.
Does that mean I create difficult situations, or do I practice how to react when the stakes are lower?
How do you deal with fear?
