I momentarily forgot that self-care is crucial for caregivers. I’m a caregiver to both my husband and my mother. Certainly, it is easy to get caught up in the needs of others, forgoing your own.
A Definition of Self-Care
One definition is any activity that nurtures and refuels you at a deep level. There are many areas of our lives where we can practice self-care. Often we think first of our physical body. Similarly you can practice self-care in other areas; your emotional and mental state, your relationship with yourself, relationships with others, spiritual beliefs and even work.
Some Examples of Self-Care
Getting enough quality sleep
Daily time outdoors
Massage
Crying
Laughter
Free Writing
Forgiveness
Nature Walks
Meditation and Prayer
Engaging the senses
Doing something important to you
Cooking
Goal Setting
Boundary Setting
Learning New Skills
Time with friends
Conversations
Time with children
Signs That I Needed More Self-Care
I wear a Fitbit, which tracks my sleep patterns and my resting heart rate. Most noteworthy was the dramatic increase in my resting heart rate from 67 to 74 in just eight days. While the resting heart rate was soaring, my quality of sleep rating plummeted to the 60’s.
My Method of Self-Care
It had been months since I had walked the paths of my favorite public garden Bok Tower Gardens . On the morning of that eight day of increased resting heart rate, I told my husband I was going to spend time walking before I performed errands for him and my mom.
I was benefiting multiple areas of my life in this one act of self-care. My physical body was experiencing time outdoors. Nature walks are a form of meditation for me, boosting my spiritual care. By engaging my senses during the walk, I lifted my relationship with myself. Finally, I had a chance encounter with a friend along the path and enjoyed a lovely conversation, adding the self-care of relationships with others.
Measurable Positive Results
In the five days since I went for my self-care walk, my resting heart rate dropped each day and is now at 68. My sleep score for the same five days now has an average of 80. I feel rested, calm, and was able to meet a writing deadline in addition to this blog.
A Challenge for You
Whether you take care of your family, your pets, or just yourself, self-care is crucial. I challenge you to find at least one way you can do something just for you, something that makes you smile, that makes your heart sing. Life is short. Take care of yourself. Love yourself.
Last week my husband, Wayne, asked again if I wanted to go with him in the airboat on Lake Marion. I had refused every time, but when I said, “Yes, I’ll try,” I realized it was a result of how exercise built up my confidence.
An Airboat Primer
He started up the aircraft engine while it rested in our central Florida lakefront covered boat slip. I ran the motor to lower the straps, and he pulled himself back out of the slip by grabbing the poles along the side. In contrast to airplanes, airboats utilize a push prop in the rear airplanes have a pull prop on the nose of the fuselage or along the wings.
There are two areas they are similar, the noise and the lack of ability to back up. In contrast to an airplane, an airboat can be spun around. Residents along large lakes in Florida complain about the noise. In our county they passed an ordinance that airboats must have mufflers. It didn’t really help reduce the decibels, however, because the source of the noise is the propeller. You can hear the engine and propeller noise and see the wind blow about debris in this short video of my husband and our airboat.
Airboats have a shallow draft due to their light weight, less than 1,000 pounds and the wide hull. Finally, the underside of the hull is treated with a product that reduces friction even more, Slick bottom. All these factors give an airboat the ability to skim over aquatic plants and even land for short distances. As he skinned around and headed out past the weeds, I turned around on the dock to head toward the shoreline of Lake Marion.
Trial and Error
I navigated the first obstacle, getting down from the dock onto the cinder blocks that serve as steps to the lakeshore. But how to get into the boat? With my arthritic knees, I feel much better with something to hold onto. Ah yes, I remembered to put my butt down on the bow and swing my feet inside the hull.
Carefully I stood up, whispering, “Thank you, Darrin”, to my workout coach for all the squats he has cheered me through. Aloft, I held onto the frame of the airboat, carefully aligning my feet with the metal bottom to reach the tubular rungs that lead to the backseat behind the driver.
I didn’t have the flexibility in my joints to lift my knees to the first rung. There was fear involved as my actions moved the airboat slightly. Big time fear.
The engine is running, but the prop is still, so I turned to Wayne and said, “I can’t do it.”
He yelled, “Can you sit on the grate where my feet are?”
It looked possible, so I went forward, easily lifted my foot onto the shallow bow and leaned back with my butt on the platform with his feet. My toes were dangling above the bow as I scooted back. This platform folds the accelerator pedal for Wayne’s left foot, but the right side was open, as his right foot control was beside the platform.
“I can do this!”
The Ride
The only place for my hands to grab hold was the aluminum tubing welded along the underside of the platform. I held on tight as we spun around away from the sandy shore. Our immediate destination was the Eastern shoreline, directly in front of us.
Although my iPhone was stuck in my right pocket, I wasn’t confident of the stability of my situation to take any video until after we say a 10-foot bull gator roll off floating debris ten yards in front of us. My heart skipped a few beats as we skimmed right over his sunbathing platform. But I was disappointed to miss the iconic Florida wildlife photo.
Although the ride seemed really fast to me in my precarious seat, I knew Wayne was being extremely cautious. The roar of the propeller prevents conversation. But I suspected he was looking for the hidden entrance to Indian Springs Run, a slow moving creek emanating from a spring, constantly feeding Lake Marion. As we entered the run, our smooth ride on the airboat allowed me to take a handheld video with my steady hand.
I Didn’t Expect That
We exited the run and headed back out to the water lily pads. My phone safely in my pocket, a sudden outpouring of tears, then sobs overtook me. The anxiety of the stay-at-home pandemic order coupled with my newfound confidence in my improved strength burst forth, like the white egrets taking flight in front of me.
Then calmness reigned. I could now trust both my ability to hold fast on the platform and my husband’s care for me as I enjoyed the rest of the trip. I filmed cattle who had ventured away from the shore to browse on aquatic grass and later, the homes on Bannon Island.
The Next Goal
Two days later I told my trainer, Darrin, about my difficulty on the airboat, I could see the wheels turning behind his bright brown eyes. He added moves to my workout routine that would strengthen all the deep muscles in my hips. Remembering the thrill of the airboat ride enhanced my workout effectiveness. Even more now, I feel the result of how exercise built up my confidence. Next, Wayne’s talking about letting me take the controls on our next airboat adventure on Lake Marion.
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Looking back to December 2019, what did you think would happen for you in 2020? I’ll bet it was something pretty monumental, after all not only were we on the cusp of a new year, it was a new decade.
What Do I Know Now?
I realize a lot of the transformations I experienced in 2019 were setting the stage for this incredible opportunity of a pandemic, a worldwide virus that would change everything. Although many people have become ill, even died due to this pandemic. It could be so much worse. I’m so grateful it is not the typical Hollywood end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it catastrophe movie or as devastating as Stephen King’s epic novel, The Stand. Rather, in my life, it is like a stern parent, irritated with our behavior, who has placed us in the corner for a time-out.
What to do With Our Time-Out
The stay-at-home order has stripped away all non-essential activity outside our home base. However, we still have access to our digital world; smart phones, tablets, computers, smart tv, social media. We also can talk to friends and family even while seeing their faces in applications like FaceTime, Facebook Video or Zoom. Perhaps we even visit more now than before.
All these options feed two of our senses, vision and hearing. In contrast, we are feeling deprived of touch, taste, and smell. Do you know how we are feeding these senses? Yes, we are cooking our little hearts out; baking, roasting, sautéing, broiling, and grilling. Sometimes we feed our desire for creativity by pulling items out of the pantry and freezer to pull together a meal. I’m doing these things too, grateful we finally replaced our old gas range the first week in March.
Onto the Next Challenge
This flurry of cooking leads to the next challenge – exercise. Remember earlier when I mentioned my transformations in 2019? Hiring a personal trainer who comes to my home is one of those transformations. Little has changed on that front, except the use of Lysol on equipment and the six-foot distancing rule. I am so grateful for my trainer and our efforts to keep healthy and safe.
My new found yoga practice on Thursday mornings ended almost a month ago. Thankfully, a fellow Dream Creator Mastermind participant is helping me by sharing online gentle yoga like this video from Shelley Nicole. I still have to adjust some positions for my arthritic knees, but it feels so good to participate in yoga again. I’m so grateful for my online social community.
Do You Notice a Theme?
All the changes and challenges of the last months have upped the energy of gratitude in my life. I feel more free, centered, alive, and focused than ever before. Looking back to December 2019, I realize that everything good I expected in my life has come to pass or is in progress. I am grateful for everything and every person in my wonderful life!
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