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Three Tips for Finding Value in Yourself

These three tips for finding value in yourself need repeating. Furthermore, no matter how much we grow as individuals, finding our self-worth will elude us at times.

Are You Devaluing Yourself?

Sometimes it’s easier to consider the opposite of a positive characteristic, because it is more familiar to us.

Maybe these are some ways we show a lack of value in ourselves.

  1. Saying ‘Yes’, when we mean ‘No’
  2. Difficulty asking for help
  3. Placing higher value on other people, pets, or things

How to Start Valuing Yourself

Here are three small steps to help you change your behavior. Does one speak to you more than the others? Start there. Then add a second step the next week or sooner if you feel ready. Above all, be kind to yourself.

  1. Start writing Morning Pages
  2. Look at a situation from a different point of view
  3. Do something special just for you

Delving Deeper

Point of view has several meanings. Consequently, I want to make it clear I’m using this definition:

  • the position from which something or someone is observed

In life, we tend to use the same point of view all the time. Most noteworthy, our direct observance is clouded by all the thoughts in our mind drawn from a lifetime of judgement and beliefs.

An Exercise in Point of View

Imagine this scene. A man is walking down a sidewalk with a hedge of plants to his left, listening to music on his iPod. Suddenly, a masked man steps out of the bushes behind him with a shovel in his right hand. He hits the man on the back of the head with the shovel. The man falls to the ground, bleeding from the back of his head.

Chances are, in your default point of view, you placed yourself across the street and observed this attack in horror.

In contrast, let’s try using a different point of view. Pretend there are two birds perched twenty feet up in a tree just on the other side of the hedge. I’ll name them Heckle and Jeckle. Perhaps they observe the same scene this way.

“That man is walking with white strings coming out the sides of his head.”

“Now a second man comes out of the bushes behind him, with a black covering over his face. He holds a big twig with a shiny flat part on the end.”

“The second man moved the shiny part and came in contact with the back of the first man’s head, who falls on the ground.”

“There is red liquid coming out of the man on the ground.”

Different Points of View

This point of view from Heckle and Jeckle is detached, without judgement, a bird’s-eye view observation. Two more possible points of view are the characters in the scene; the man with the iPod, the masked man. And don’t forget the “just the facts” view.

By looking at this fictional scene in different ways, you are practicing changing your point of view.

Do you want to take it one step further? Use different points of view to dissect a scenario from your own life. Extra points if you have strong feelings about this personal circumstance.

Final Thoughts

Don’t forget the third way to start valuing yourself – doing something special, just for you.

Are you doing something special, just for you today? Take a moment to brainstorm one thing you can do for yourself this weekend.

I’d enjoy readIng your ideas in the comments.

Sending love from my heart to yours,
Dawn

I’ve Got to Stop There Someday

How many times have you driven by a business that called out to you, and you answered, “I’ve got to stop there someday!”

Taking Time for Yourself

Yesterday was my ‘someday’. Inglenook Antiques was the business. I consider it to be this week’s Artist Date with myself. This concept goes hand-in-hand with writing my Morning Pages. An Artist Date is something you do that gives you joy. According to author, Julia Cameron, the originator, there are just two rules:

  • You must go alone
  • Do it once a week, every week

Antique Shops are a Weakness for Me

I’ve never spent large sums of money in them, but I usually leave with something in hand.

Yesterday’s visit was an example of following my intuition. After all, it wasn’t convenient to stop. I had mozzarella and chicken breasts from a grocery stop after my morning walk at Bok Tower Gardens. But the parking was shaded and my groceries were kept cool in my everpresent cooler.

Before I reached the front door of the cozy, historic house, Robin, the owner, cracked open the door as if to say, “Yes, we’re open.“

Synchronicity Abounds

Synchronicity – the simultaneous occurrence of events, which appear significantly related, but have no discernible casual connection. This definition of synchronicity encompasses my visit to Inglenook Antiques.

Blue Ridge Southern PotteriesI walked through the door and turned right, where a small room was my first find – a wall filled with Blue Ridge Southern Potteries dinnerware. This is the largest collection I’ve ever seen. My personal connection is from my grandmother. She collected these plates during the 1940’s for ten cents each from the local Woolworth Five and Dime store. I loved the beautiful flowers on the hand-painted plates when I would visit her for a traditional Swedish afternoon coffee and sweet. She would fill a coffee cup half full of evaporated milk and pour some coffee and sugar in it for me. She always had homemade Pepparkakor, Swedish ginger cookies, stashed in the freezer to accompany the coffee.

As I wandered through, I was drawn to talk to Robin about her collection of Blue Ridge dinnerware. She told the story of her grandmother’s one plate used to soothe her when she was home sick. The beautiful, hand-painted petunia on a plate, placed with the love of her mother on a tray, filled with comforting morsels of food to settle her tummy.

Every new subject that came up in our conversation brought more similarities; commonality to Wasilla, Alaska, the Czech Republic, family with the same first name, studying biology in college. The list seemed endless.

A Few More Finds

During our conversation, I mentioned that I like white plates too. Robin pulled out two different styles. Now I have three Wedgwood Cream on Cream dinner plates with an embossed grape design and two Czech salad plates, also with a grape leaf design.

Finally, she led me to a large assortment of wooden boxes. I chose a miniature Lane cedar chest. Robin told me they were given to high school graduates by the local furniture store, Badcock, during the 70’s. It must have been after 1971, because I missed receiving one. Perhaps, it was waiting for me to find it at Inglenook Antiques.

Choose to Listen

The next time you hear the voice in your head say, “I’ve got to stop there someday,” choose to listen and act on it. Perhaps you will make a new friend, find the perfect gift, or experience the simple joy of synchronicity.

I’d love to hear from you, in the comments or signup for my newsletter and we can have a weekly conversation.

Warmly,
Dawn

Writing Morning Pages Opens Up Creativity

Today, I returned to writing morning pages. Finally, I picked up one of the spiral journals on my bookshelf, plucked a pen off my desk and wrote.

My first morning pages started over thirty years ago when I was introduced to The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It is one of the tools she uses to open up creativity.

What are Morning Pages?

The idea is very simple. Each morning, before you do anything else, take pen in hand and write on paper. The standard for how much to write is three pages or thirty minutes. The only requirement is physical writing.

At first, you might not know what to write. That’s okay. If you’re stuck, write “I don’t know what to write. This is stupid.” Continue writing these two sentences. As if by magic, your words change to release whatever needs to come out. Maybe the emotions release. Perhaps, a new idea may emerge.

There is no wrong way to do morning pages. Furthermore, don’t worry about syntax, punctuation or spelling. Above all, just write.

How Might This Work?

The physical task of moving the hand allows the brain to slowly unwind. It seems like expressing your thoughts on paper is basic therapy. Moreover, it doesn’t hurt you or anyone else.

Morning pages are private. They are not shared. When you’ve filled up your first notebook or journal you choose what you do with it.

    • Store it
    • Burn it
    • Shred it
    • Physically tear it up

Start Today

Why not give writing morning pages a try? Do you have an empty notebook lying around the house? Any writing instrument will do; pen, pencil, marker. Start writing morning pages and watch your creativity soar.

For me, today’s morning pages made me feel so much calmer, I didn’t stress over publishing this page much later than usual. Ahhhh.

Helpful Resources

As I composed this article, I remembered the scores of young people who were not given the joy of learning cursive writing in school. If you want to learn how to master this creative style of writing, here are a few of the many helpful sources online. Most noteworthy, the first link is full of more resources at the end of the article.

Have an enjoyable, safe Labor Day weekend, enjoying the vestiges of summer and lookI got forward to fall.

Warmly,
Dawn