Follow the Dance of Your Dreams

Follow the dance of your dreams. Then, when everything seems to block your path, take a deep breath and strengthen your resolve.

Follow the Dance of Your Dreams

Allow your path to flow around obstacles, thanking them for helping you see the importance of your desire to follow through to the next crossroad.

My path includes dipping my toe into my community. So when a new friend told me about contra dances, it was an obvious inroad to meeting people while enjoying a fun evening.

What is a Contra Dance?

First, I wanted to know the answer to this question. A search for “contra dances near me” returned the Boone Country Dancers. It’s almost impossible to describe the experience. The most important fact is that genuine joy permeates the dance hall.

A contra dance is uniquely simple yet deeply complicated. All dances in my area offer a minimum of thirty-minute pre-dance instruction. The caller led us through the basic moves without music, gradually added some live music, and by the end, we flawlessly executed a contra dance.

Perhaps This was a Test

After understanding the concept of contra dancing, it was time to find one. The next dance was the following Saturday night at the Blowing Rock American Legion, 30 minutes from home. As you may have read last week, I was overdoing so much that Spirit stepped in to help. With my energy so scattered, it wasn’t surprising that I experienced a severe, short bout of dizziness on Thursday afternoon as I started to step into the shower. As my week calmed down, there was more room to consider adding something fun to my life.

Perhaps the dizziness contributed to the next stumbling block to attending my first contra dance.

As I sat waiting for my hairdresser Friday afternoon, I searched for a funkier short hairstyle. The results included a photo of Jaime Lee Curtis. I’d admired her bold short style for years but pointed out a less severe option to my hair stylist.

We talked as she snipped, and before I knew it, the floor was thick with my hair! Was this another reason to chicken out of the contra dance?

The Theme is Fun

A bout with dizziness and an unexpected pixie haircut would not keep me from my plan.

I put a raincoat on, left 10 minutes early, and parked close to the front doors with an umbrella poised above me. It had been raining for over two days. But I wasn’t going to let the weather stop me now.

I paused undercover before the front door, shaking the rain out of my umbrella. As I hung up my coat and stashed my umbrella, I reached into my pocket for the ten-dollar bill, my final requirement for admission.

One of the Volunteer hosts welcomed newcomers and first-time contra dancers (like me) with smiles, encouragement, and a special button to wear. In addition to friendly faces, the button guaranteed helpful tips from experienced people while I danced. There were no mistakes. Instead, those experienced partners helped me catch up quickly as we flowed back into the moves.

My first partner during the pre-dance instruction was an experienced contra dancer in her late thirties. Many more experienced dancers came early to help the newbies. After a few dances, people filled the hall, and I sat down for a breather. Soon, a young man asked me to dance. I was back on the floor, remembering more and more moves.

The dances became more complicated as the night wore on. Then, taking a break, I filmed the feet of the dancers in this short video of the dance. The violinist had switched to a recorder, which he delivered beautifully.

My Takeaways

Even though I was one of the oldest women in the dance hall, three men asked me to be their partner. Two were young enough to be my sons. The smiles on their faces added to the joy radiating from both my face and my heart. My last partner was George, who was near my age. He has been contra-dancing since 1980 and calls dances in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Their first dance is next Tuesday night. So I’m spreading my wings next week too.

Many small steps brought me to my first contra dance. You can do this too.

  • Reach out to a new friend
  • Listen to their suggestions to meet new people
  • Find an event near you
  • Step over each hurdle placed in your path
  • Follow through to the event
  • Walk through the door

How did I manage this when I’ve not followed through so many other times?

Going with the flow allowed my natural inclinations and strengths to ease me down the road to joy.

  • Connectedness – realizing the synchronicity throughout
  • Harmony – taking the time to listen to my friend
  • Input – the more information I gather, the easier it is to understand
  • Responsibility – showing up and walking through the door
  • Positivity – I saw the haircut as fun

It’s rewarding to look at my top five strengths from my CliftonStrengths assessment and see how they show up when I follow the dance of my dreams.

Do You Play the Role of Victim?

Do you play the role of victim? For example, the photo above portrays the young woman as a victim of bullying. Although we agree this is reality, damaging, and can lead to tragedy, is it preventable by choosing an alternative to the role of victim?

I never thought of myself as a victim. Yet, I willingly set up a similar situation I wrote about last week in Celebrating Your Shadow Side.

How Do You Play the Role of Victim?

I was playing the role of the victim in the Hartman Drama Triangle. This concept was unknown to me until a friend and life coach, Elizabeth Heiss, responded to last week’s letter. She asked me if I had heard of the Hartman Drama Triangle.

She also sent me a link to a video by Martha Beck that explains both the Karpman Drama Triangle and an alternative way of being.

The Gift of Sleeping Late

Today I harvested the gift of sleeping late. In general terms, I’ve also heard it referred to as the gift of procrastination. Regardless, for us perfectionist types, this is counterintuitive.

Before the Gift of Sleeping Late

The day before my appointment to install new tires on my Subaru Forester, I was in my usual busy mode. First, the dog had a meeting with the vet at 11 am. Then I planned to bring some artwork for reframing to an establishment in Blowing Rock. Next, I would hurry home to catch a group Zoom meeting for animal communicators. Finally, I planned to participate in a Power Hour of Recipe Organization with Alexandria. TV’s Team Organize.

How do you feel after reading this paragraph?

It doesn’t feel good for me, either.

Of course, it didn’t happen exactly like that.

I hurriedly left home on Wednesday at 10:30 am. Less than a mile from home, the tire pressure light comes on. My heart sank into my gut as I looked for a driveway to pull off the road. As I moved around the car and inspected the tires, the rear passenger tire seemed slightly lower than the others.

I eased back into the driver’s seat, closed my eyes, and asked, “Do I continue to the vet?”

Immediately, I received a gentle ‘No.’

Heading home, I weighed my options. Then I texted my new neighbor, Andy. He volunteered to stop by in the late afternoon and take a look.

The Energy of the Day Changes

Now I had time to consider how I wanted to spend my day. First, I took the dog for a short walk. Then I got my hands dirty planting the sixty Iris reticulata bulbs and the remaining handful of daffodils cooling in the garage. Finally, I gathered up fallen maple leaves for my compost pile. These grounding activities had been weighing on my mind for days. Then, as if to prove the worth of this change of pace, a gentle rain fell as I retreated into the house to rest.

The helpfulness of the day continued when my neighbor, Andy, asked if I still needed his help with my tire.

I replied, “Yes, please.”

Next, he noted that he was headed into town to drop an employee off. “Do you need anything from the grocery?”

“Could you pick up a small container of whole mushrooms?”

I had time to prep the Instant Pot Beef Stew recipe, and Andy would bring the missing mushrooms. He was happy to stay for dinner. The tire would hold with the air from the compressor I bought last year.

The stew exceeded my expectations. Andy enjoyed a home-cooked meal before heading cross country on Friday to be the groom in his upcoming wedding. And I felt relief that my tire would make it to the garage the following day.

Back to the Gift of Sleeping Late

I still needed to learn my lesson. So, although I considered setting the alarm to make my Thursday 8:30 am appointment, I chose otherwise. Expecting to arise at 6:00 am, I awoke with a start to see 8:31 am on the clock.

After a brief conversation with one of the sons of Eller and Sons, he changed my appointment to 2:00 pm. I quickly canceled my workout at 1:30 pm and emailed Matt to let him know I wouldn’t make the 2:15 appointment. Matt called me back, and we rescheduled for Monday; I took a deep, cleansing breath.

I thanked my Spiritual Board of Directors, for giving me the gift of sleeping late. As a result, I had the opportunity to slowly go through a morning of much-needed self-care.

What Did I Learn?

Joy comes from living life in the now. Filling our lives with commitments reduces our happiness. No one benefits. Take time out to relax, regroup, and return to what brings you peace.

Repeating the Reiki Precepts aloud makes my heart feel open and healed. Perhaps you will feel the same.

With Love and Compassion,
Dawn

The Reiki Precepts

For today only,
Do not anger,
Do not worry,
Be humble,
Be honest in your work,
Be compassionate to yourself and others.